‘HOW TO BUILD AND SUSTAIN FRIENDSHIP IN MARRIAGE..
One of the determining factors of successful marital relationship is friendship. I once wrote a widely read article on WHAT YOU MUST NOT LOST IN YOUR MARRIAGE. Therein, I opined that friendship is one of the major IRREFUTABLE marriage success systems.
However, not all who began a marital journey on the note of friendship continue.
Building and sustaining friendship is science. It is an art that must be mastered. Most couples are mere bedmates or flatmates without intimate bonding which is a direct product of the of discipline of intentionality.
First and foremost, building and sustaining friendship in marriage is going to be by mutual realisation of the need for friendship in your marriage coupled with the mutual choice to be friends. Friendship is majorly by choice and not by force. Although the choice is informed by the presence of some factors. All things being equal, the love for one’s spouse cannot be compared with the platonic love for children related family and friends. On this basis, your companion is your best best friend you can ever have.
What to do to build and sustain friendship in marriage…
- Fraternize with your spouse interest. It is possible to have different and uncommon things couples have interest in. But you should deliberately make what interests your spouse your interest. Some wise ladies who for instance, don’t have any flair for football have adopted the favorite football club of their husbands. They even go as far as arming themselves with information about their husbands club so they can make intelligent contribution during discussion time.
- Mutual Respect. You can always connect to someone you demonstrate and receive respect from. Naturally, humans are averse to being disregarded or disrespected. You want a long lasting friendship in your marriage? Respect your spouse.
- Forgiveness. Long lasting friendship is notable for the capacity that the folks in the ship have built to forgive each other. Your spouse is not perfect neither are you. Loving is only for giving but also forgiving.
- Communication. What is friendship without effective communication? Communication is very germane to long lasting relationship. Talk about and have positions on issues that can gradually drift you apart if not discussed. Discuss your family goals and vision. Men should be intentional about carrying their spouse along with plans, ideas, projects and vision. It helps build team spirit.
- Quality time and attention: This is one of the hallmarks of lasting friendship. Your spouse does not want you present without being present. Pay attention. To most people, especially women, attention is an indication of affection. It goes by the principle: where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
- Affection. This is not all about feeling. It is more of demonstrative gestures that are not premised on conditions. You must also verbalise and demonstrate your vow of undying love for your spouse. Important features of love are commitment and sacrifice.
Thanks for your time.
To your marital peace and bliss.