Three practical methods to love others like Jesus did
We live in a culture that praises tolerance but does a bad job of it in many ways. We also tolerate so much that it feels like we’re going against everything in the Bible. We have many different beliefs, faiths, ethics, and morals. All of these affect how we talk to each other every day, and if you’re like me, the weather seems to be the safest thing to talk about these days.
So, where are you? Is it sunny?
But, really. As people who believe, it’s important, and dare I say, crucial, that we learn to love people who don’t believe like we do. Why is it so hard to do? I’m going to guess that many of us are afraid that showing love and acceptance will be seen as allowing sin or a different set of beliefs that we don’t agree with. So, instead of loving and accepting others, we keep our distance or start a conversation so we can make a point about how we disagree while quickly adding, “but I still love you,” in an attempt to soften the blow.
How can we love people who don’t believe what we do? Maybe it’s a matter of looking at love in a different way and following the example that Christ set in the Bible. Let’s look at it more closely:
1. Love never put up with anything.
No one will ever say that Jesus didn’t love the Pharisee, the tax collector, or the prostitute. By what He did, it was clear that His love for them was both unbreakable and very personal. But He would not let them sin. False gods were not okay with him. By tolerant, I mean that He didn’t try to make His own message sound politically correct so as not to upset anyone. In fact, sometimes Jesus told them right to their faces that they were wrong in what they believed and how they lived. But please keep this in mind: He was good at what He did because He loved.
Jesus got to know people and made friends with them. When He went up to Zaccheus, he went to the tax collector’s house for dinner. The man was a tax thief, but Jesus still spent time with him and built a relationship with him. He never gave the impression that he was okay with the tax theft of the time, though. When Jesus talked to the Pharisees, he told them that what he taught was true and invited them to come and be a part of what Christ had to offer. Jesus didn’t accept sin or beliefs that went against the truth He brought to the world, and He didn’t try to hide that He didn’t like them, but He still loved them. The old saying “Love the sinner, hate the sin” has its place, but keep in mind that it can be hard to get along with people who proudly say they believe in their sin. So, then, can we love the person who does wrong? Jesus did that, but it wasn’t easy, and it killed Him in the end.
2. Love should be open to honest talk.
These days, open dialogue is a lost art in American culture. Should I say a healthy and open conversation? A lot of fighting is going on. When you don’t like what someone says, you shut them down or “unfriend” them a lot. And, to be honest, sometimes people are just mean when they try to convince others that their point of view is wrong or that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
We can make a big difference in this area. Let’s get back to talking in a healthy way. Again, learning to love people with different beliefs comes back to how important it is for the relationship to have good communication. This means that for the conversation to work, both sides need to know how to treat each other with respect and care. Even the most biblically sound argument can be made in a way that makes the other person feel hated and unloved just for the sake of speaking the truth. But then, even the most culturally relevant argument can be met with angry intolerance of a more conservative point of view and dismissal because it’s “typical of Christianity.”
It’s time to show what to do and start a loving conversation. Ask questions. Lots of questions. Even if you are sure you are following a biblical principle, there is nothing wrong with learning the other side’s point of view. If you try to understand why someone believes what they do, you’ll learn a lot about who they really are, what drives them, what hurts them, and what will help them heal. Accepting that you may never be able to change someone’s opinion or belief is important for healthy dialogue. So is realizing that it’s important to be able to talk about it in a respectful way.
We need to avoid verbal strangulation, which is when we shut down the other person’s ideas so they can’t hear ours. Learning about someone is a great way to show Christ-like love. This means we need to find out what they believe and why they believe it. Friends, talk things out. It needs to find its place again in our world.
3. Love can make rules.
It’s also fine to make rules. Sometimes, someone else’s beliefs can change yours in a big way. Maybe it brings back old temptations, or maybe it appeals to something inside you, or maybe it makes you question your own core beliefs.
It’s important to remember that you can set limits on your love for someone. For example, when I went to a Tibetan temple and a monk showed me around, I didn’t mind spending time with him, but I didn’t like the idea of entering, taking my shoes off out of respect for his god, and bowing. It was explained with love. I have to respect and care for you because I have to honor my God, but I can’t cross that line because of my own faith.
If you set limits with love and respect, most people will honor and respect them in return. Usually not. No. But it’s something to think about carefully and use when it makes sense. It will protect you and set clear expectations for the other people, but you will still know that love is the most important thing.
It’s hard to get around different belief systems. There is no question. As traditional beliefs and the Bible as the authoritative Word of God fall out of favor, we will find ourselves talking to more and more people from different backgrounds and ways of life.
It is important to learn how to share the love of Christ while staying true to our beliefs. Putting people down because they have “wrong” or “sinful” beliefs will stop the spread of the Gospel of Christ’s grace and obedience to His Word. Love and tolerance need to go hand in hand, but they are not always the same thing.
Don’t get down on yourself! Christ has told us to reach out to people who don’t believe like we do. Seek Him as you seek to love. Approach everyone with a spirit of service and humility, and do the things that come from the spirit. When these values are all around us, it’s easier to tell the truth, and even if it’s still sometimes hard to hear, it can be said with love.
Find people who don’t believe the same things you do. Enjoy them. Do something to help. Go with the Holy Spirit’s strength and wisdom.
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