There are 4 Easy Ways You Can Uplift the Wife Of The Pastor In Your Church
You’re considering applying for the pastor’s job at that California church, right? Is it possible to have a conversation about this? Let’s weigh the benefits and drawbacks.
Nearly twenty years ago, my husband Steve and I were in the midst of a fantastic season of service in Austin, Texas, where we had built a church with another seasoned pastor and his wife.
Steve served as the assistant pastor, worship leader, and pastor of the youth group (a ministry we were really committed to).
New members were flooding into the young church. It was incredible to see God at work in the lives of the teenagers and their families as He led them to faith in Christ. My, what a fantastic time we had!
Even the kids were doing great. Our eldest child, a soon-to-be A&M University graduate, had already been offered a career as an Air Force fighter pilot. Our oldest child was a junior in high school. She contributed much to our youth group and found great joy in developing her religion in community with her peers. Brandon, our middle schooler, loved that his dad was the youth pastor because he got to participate in everything the high school students did. And Kayla, age 9, was proud to be the youth pastor’s child.
Everything seemed fine, so you can imagine my surprise when Steve said that he was thinking about leaving to become a pastor at a church in California.
In reality, throughout the course of the previous two years, the church had phoned Steve around once every six months to pray about the job. Steve would say he wasn’t interested in prayer, yet he’d still agree to pray with them.
At this point, Steve’s opinion had shifted. The Lord must have impressed upon him the seriousness of this possibility. He, too, was plainly struggling with the same worries that I was.
What are the prospects for our children if we uproot them right now?
If we uproot our church in Texas right now, what will happen to it?
After being constantly peppered with questions, Steve finally replied, “Today we will speak through our worries and then we are not going to talk about it any more; we are just going to pray.”
So, I brewed a pot of coffee, grabbed my tablet computer, and began listing the benefits and drawbacks. We spent the whole morning debating whether or not to accept the job offer.
After finishing our second cup of coffee, we both came to the conclusion that accepting the position would be too much of a financial and emotional hardship for our family. We both agreed that we must not accept the position.
The next thing we spoke, we both sobbed, “But we have to.” Really, we have no choice.
It was clear in our spirits that the Lord wanted us to uproot our life and go ministry in California.
To our astonishment, our children supported the decision to relocate. Our church in Texas wept as they embraced our choice.
We packed up the car and headed west to California. Everything that might have gone wrong throughout the journey happened. A “the door is closed” sign would have been easy to find if we had been searching for it. Even so, we continued on. Our desire to do God’s will, no matter the cost, was something He had planted in our hearts.
My stomach knotted up with nervousness as we approached the city where we would do our ministry. A voice of encouragement from God spoke to me right away:
I will strengthen you and assist you; you need not be afraid, because the Lord God is with you. Isa. 41:10
When you commit God’s Word to memory, He will bring it to mind at the most opportune times. When I heard that God would come through for us, I felt at rest.
17 years have passed since Steve was called to lead our California church as its pastor. We have seen God’s hand at work in our ministry there at that period.
But why should I bother giving you my story? If you are a pastor’s wife, you probably have a similar tale of how God guided your spouse into ministry.
If you are not married to a pastor, however, I hope this glimpse into your pastor’s wife’s life may help you better support your own pastor’s wife.
Think about what it might be like to be the lady you often see sitting next to your pastor at church. Is there a problem with the congregation’s expectations for their children’s behavior?
Perhaps the couple is struggling financially since her spouse works in a profession known for its poor pay. (Understand that I am in the company of many pastors’ wives who make the decision to stay at home rather than work in order to support their husbands’ ministries.)
To that end, let’s briefly go through four easy ways to uplift your pastor’s wife.
- Don’t think that she’s perfect.
Your minister’s minister is a woman, chosen by God specifically to care for him or her. Only other pastors’ spouses will fully appreciate her special calling.
Cover it with love if she fails to remember your birthday, doesn’t greet you with a smile when you meet her at the grocery store, or loses her anger with your child for spilling blue paint on the head of a young girl whose family was visiting the church.
““Love suffers all things, believes all things,” it states in 1 Corinthians 13. That’s because real love always assumes the best in other people.
Make up your mind to see the best in the pastor’s wife, and let her know you’re set on that.
The same goes for her offspring; they won’t be angels. As much as she can, that is. Maintain an optimistic outlook on the pastor’s offspring. When they fall short of your ideals, be as forgiving as you would want others to be with their own children.
- Just show up.
You have no idea how disheartening it is for a pastor to spend the week preparing a sermon, only to have many people cancel on Sunday.
To you, personally, from your pastor and his wife’s prayers. And they are eager to share with you the knowledge that God has placed in their hearts.
Whether she is leading a Bible study or a fellowship, your pastor’s wife deserves your presence. Your presence will be very motivating, that much is certain.
- Pray.
Be sure to say prayers for the pastor, his family, and his congregation. Tempers are flaring and Satan wants nothing more than to silence them. Thanks to the prayers of our church family, I have no doubt that my children will one day follow Christ.
They need you to intercede on their behalf, preferably while kneeling. It’s impossible to encourage others in their Christian service if you’re always finding fault with their methods.
- Ask God to provide godly role models to guide the pastor’s wife.
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