5 Ways to Help Adoptive Families
Due to the high cost of adoption, it is usual for families to hold fundraising events. One approach to assist a family prepare for the arrival of a new child is to take part in one of those events. What then, though? How can we be of assistance once they have found one other and begun to settle into married life? If you want to show a family that has recently adopted your love and support, try one of these five simple ideas:
Feeding others is one of my life’s greatest joys. The people Jesus fed. John 21:1-14 has my favorite Bible meal moment, even more so than the feeding of the 5,000 and the Last Supper. According to John, following His resurrection, Jesus prepared breakfast for His followers. A large part of showing his affection for them, he realized, was providing for their nutritional needs. As well as being essential to our survival, eating is also a great social and emotional experience.
Adoptive parents of any age would really appreciate food deliveries, just as they would when their infant arrives home. Even if you don’t think the new parents will be up all night with an older child, you can still help them out by bringing them food (and chances are, they won’t be getting much sleep either). Your thoughtfulness will be appreciated, and you’ll be giving them one less thing to worry about while they readjust to their new life thanks to the meals you provide. Beforehand, find out if anyone has any restrictions or allergies about the food they may eat. It’s a good idea to make dishes that can be quickly reheated or frozen so that the family may enjoy them whenever they’d like.
My buddy would come over and just put items in the freezer when we initially got our son home from China. On occasion, I might even be able to put together a meal. On other occasions, when I opened the freezer, I found her gifts neatly packaged in aluminum foil with detailed cooking instructions. Brings happy, relieved tears. Make sure to eat breakfast as well. We would enjoy a morning casserole or muffin recipe just as much (if not more) as a supper dish.
Providing child care for those in need might be a lifeline for their mental health. Both you and the child’s parents need to be okay with accommodating any potential unique requirements the kid may have. When our kid was a newborn, we went through a “cocooning” period in which no one other than my husband and I were allowed to care for him. Cocooning is limiting the child’s exposure to the outside world as much as possible so that he or she may have a strong sense of family and understand that his or her parents are unique and different from other people. But finally I felt secure in leaving him with someone else for a few hours, since he had come to identify me as mom. Friends that watched my kids allowed me to do things like rest, get cleaned up, and have a cup of coffee. There were little things that meant the world to me during particularly trying times, and they completely shifted my mood.
One approach to provide a hand is to give your child care services to other families. Multiple doctor visits are common for recently adopted kids. You may make it easier on the parents by offering to watch the other kids in the family while they go to these appointments.
Prayer is something we can all benefit from. Praying for an adopted child’s attachment to the family, the child’s and everyone else’s adjustment, and the child’s unique needs is especially meaningful to those who have chosen adoption as a parenting method. Medical or psychological issues are common among international children. Helpful resources for birth families include prayers and advice on having difficult talks. You do not need to know everything about the child to pray truly. The circumstances of a child’s life are irrelevant to God, and your prayers of healing and love will be heard by him or her regardless. You may always pray for concerns like loss and trauma, which every adopted child will experience. It’s okay to ask the parents how you can pray particularly for their kid, but bear in mind that they might try to keep some details of the tale private.
You shouldn’t probe for information about the child’s background, but you should feel free to learn more about adoption by asking questions. Adoptive parents typically love to talk about adoption. We may talk about domestic vs international, special needs, Hague versus non-Hague, requirements, home studies, cocooning, and on and on. We frequently enjoy the opportunity to enlighten people about the many facets of the adoption community. Just fire away with your inquiries. If you are willing to be corrected, admitting ignorance is acceptable. The question, “What do you know about his true mom?” Don’t be offended if I say, “I am his true mom, and the person you’re asking about is his birth mom. You, and I, are in the midst of a learning process.
Remember that the purpose of these inquiries is not to spread rumors. A few details about my son’s past are off-limits. That is completely unrelated to you. I will guard his right to speak his tale. However, I do value your curiosity and want to learn more about adoption, orphans, foster care, and how you can show your love to adoptive families. That type of curiosity can transform the world.
- You should train your own children to teach you
In addition to your learning process, teach your own children. Teach them what adoption means. You can trust that your adopted pals will have just the words to help you express your feelings when you seek for advice. Remind your kids that life can be challenging, but that God has a plan for redemption. Explain to them that adopted children are treated no differently than biological children and are loved just as much. Show children how to treat one another with kindness and genuine interest in what they have to say.
As it states in Proverbs 22:6, “Direct your children onto the straight way, and when they are older, they will not leave it,” we feel welcomed, and future generations will reap the benefits of that love, when your children learn to love family, love adoption, and love our children.
We can easily solve this one. Reassure adoptive families that their efforts are appreciated. Cheer them on and support them verbally. Pay attention when they need to talk about how they feel or vent their frustrations. Be careful to reassure them that their efforts are not in vain, even if it seems like everything fell apart this week. Tell them how their work is making a difference in people’s lives and how the gospel is being spread through their deeds. The Lord will go before you and be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you, as it says in Deuteronomy 31:8. Or consider John 14:27, where Jesus tells his followers, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. What I provide you is not the same as what the rest of the world delivers. Don’t worry or be scared; we all need someone to lift us up and remind us of the significance of the race we’re in. Exhibit that sort of friendship.