6 Ways to Put Your Marriage First After the Kids Are Gone

After the Children Have Left the House, Here Are 6 Ways to Make Your Marriage a Priority

Having children in the family may add a lot of activity to our daily schedules. Our days are filled with sporting events, school functions, and many other extracurricular activities, and we end them by crashing into bed. When our children finally graduate from high school and go on their own lives, we suddenly find ourselves with a lot of free time on our hands and, in some circumstances, not getting to know our spouses very well at all. In addition to figuring out how to spend their time together, parents may often feel pressured to rediscover their own romantic interests.

Try Again at Intimacy

When a man and a woman unite in marriage, the Bible states they “will become one flesh,” signifying that their lives will be inseparable from God’s and each other’s. It’s easy for partners who are emotionally distant from one another to divert their attention elsewhere, such as their careers, in order to avoid confronting the fact that they aren’t putting their marriage first. The good news is that this need not be the case. During this new phase of life, couples may rediscover one another by learning more about who they are apart from one another. Once the kids have moved out, spouses may focus more on their marriage by taking advantage of these six opportunities:

• Schedule regular get-togethers as a couple.

Couples often neglect one other by not spending enough time having fun together. When two people start dating, they enjoy getting to know one another. They get to know their preferences, aspirations, and more. However, once children enter the picture, parents’ attention may be so fully focused on their offspring that they neglect to continue their own journey of self-discovery as a partnership. There are always new things to learn about your spouse, no matter how long you’ve been together. Plan regular date evenings and stick to them. To have a good time on a date, you don’t need to spend a lot of money. Simple things like supper and a movie are enjoyable for both parties. There is always the option to experiment. Make time for dates by performing some basic online research. Explore what there is to do in your region, or if you both like traveling, plan a trip somewhere new. Explore a new meal or path this year. If money is limited, plan activities that won’t break the bank. Whatever you decide, make it a habit to do it often. If at all possible, refrain from staring at a screen. This is how you rediscover the lost skill of communicating effectively. Try to set out some time each week to disconnect from technology and reconnect with one another via meaningful conversation.

• Pray Mutually

While it may seem trite, a good method to put your marriage first is to pray together on a daily basis. You will be able to both support and be supported by one another in prayer as you share your prayer needs with one another. You will learn that your partner is carrying weights that you were previously unaware of. Let each person in the group have a turn speaking out to God. Get comfortable sitting in close proximity to one another in the midst of your quiet. Join hands and spend time basking in the glow of each other’s and God’s presence. Inquire of the Lord, and He will reveal His words to you. Share what the Lord impressed upon your hearts as you parted ways. Try praying for God to give your partner a word of encouragement to share with you.

• Get involved in Something You Enjoy

Couples may discover they have more time for themselves now that raising children is no longer a top priority. While it’s wonderful to have separate interests, couples who share a passion often find that working on that interest together strengthens their relationship. This might be challenging for a pair whose tastes are diametrically opposed to one another.

Do yourself a favor and jot down some of the things that pique your curiosity on a scrap of paper. Conversely, jot down the things that pique your partner’s attention. At initially, couples may not find compatible partners. Try to deduce the underlying passions that unite everyone. Do they have common interests, such as a desire to provide a hand? Do they have aspirations for the future, such as being healthier, earning more money, or expanding their skill set? They could realize they have more in common than they thought when they examine what it is that brings each of them joy.

• Talk to One Another

Disconnect in communication is a common source of tension in relationships. They don’t really communicate with one another on a deep level; instead, they tend to speak at each other rather than with one other. If you and your spouse treat each other like roommates, your marriage may suffer. God did not plan for this to happen.

When a couple stops communicating with one another, it may lead to immoral behaviors that strain or end a marriage. Remembering the initial discussions from when you were dating might help you get the ball rolling when starting a new conversation. What was it about those talks that made them enjoyable? Get the ball rolling by thinking back on some of the old chats you’ve had. To have a meaningful discussion does not always need being emotional. You might begin by engaging in lighthearted banter about shared interests, preferences, and activities. They need to remember what it was about each other that originally drew them together.

• Be forgiving of one another

Having the ability to forgive each other is crucial to maintaining a healthy marriage. In 1 John 1:9, we read, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to purify us from all unrighteousness.” Unresolved hurts and scars might color one’s view of their partner negatively. That will make them less inclined to want to hang out or keep trying to improve their connection. Spend some quiet time with God and ask Him to reveal the problem areas in your marriage. God instituted marriage, and He desires for spouses to have the most secure relationship possible. Whatever problems there are in your marriage, whether they’re obvious or not, God will show you. Forgive your spouse even if you don’t feel like it, but make the effort nevertheless. Christ’s sacrifice on the cross atones for every sin, even the ones we have a hard time letting go of because of our humanity. Even if we don’t feel like forgiving, we should do it since it brings God glory.

• Love Without Conditions

One of the most important aspects of a successful marriage is unconditional love. To do so necessitates coming to terms with one another’s peculiarities, foibles, and faults. Just as Christ accepts us flaws and all, so too should couples. Human nature causes us to condition our love, yet God intends for us to love unconditionally. In showing this kind of love to one another, we not only set a better example for the world to follow, but we also praise God. When we love one another as God loves us, we bring glory to God.

To find happiness, a happy marriage is a great foundation. After your little ones have flown the coop, you may find that your need for personal satisfaction is greater than ever. If you follow these suggestions, you have a better chance of creating a lifelong link of love and fulfillment with the person you care about most.