Is Pride Creating Complications in Your Marriage?
The truth is that pride can get in the way of a happy marriage. Feeling worthy of respect is how Oxford describes pride. I imagine that your pride is as precious to you as mine is to me. Feel free to take away all of my material possessions, but just don’t try to take away my self-worth. To what extent do you routinely set aside your pride for the sake of your marriage? God condemns arrogance often throughout the Bible. His own son, Jesus, exemplifies true meekness.
Although divine, Jesus humbled Himself by taking on human form. His obedience and self-sacrifice culminated in death on the cross. Because of this, God has given Him the name that is greater than any other name. As stated in Philippians 2:6-9. Jesus sacrificed His honor in exchange for a far bigger and unrivaled boon.
By avoiding arrogance, we can bring untold good fortune into our partnerships. Granted, it’s not easy to cast aside one’s pride. It’s nerve-wracking and challenging. But. Countless benefits come as a result. However, pride can have a negative impact on a marriage. As the old adage says, “Pride leads to tumult, and an inflated sense of self to humiliation.” As the proverb goes (16:18),
The pride in your heart may be causing problems in your marriage, and here are six telltale indications.
- You Never Apologize to Your Spouse
Finally, I said, “Enough is enough!” As he reached for his keys, James exclaimed. An apology was the very minimum he expected from his wife. But Cathy didn’t say anything, just sat there clenching her teeth and wringing her hands, waiting for an apology. He was sick and tired of taking the blame for their arguments, and she was the one who started it. He started his car and took off quickly.
Marital discord is inevitable. But holding onto pride can be seen in the refusal ever to apologize to one’s partner. Your husband can’t be the only one with flaws, right? You will both wind up offending each other since it takes two to tango. In a healthy relationship, neither partner should feel that they have to make up for the other’s mistakes before they may do so. It won’t be long before they give up. It’s possible you’re fooling yourself into thinking you’re winning when, in fact, you’re losing. A growing sense of resentment is brewing inside of them.
- It’s Always Your Way or the Highway
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we read: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; love is not boastful or rude. It doesn’t demand to be right and it doesn’t hold grudges. (I Corinthians 13:5, ESV)
When we brought our plump baby home from the hospital, I naturally expected that I would have the final say in how she was cared for. Before touching her, my spouse would need to have my approval. For instance, I had my doubts about his ability to burp her or give her a bath without dropping her. Surely I was the one who was born with a natural ability to care for and nurture young. When taking care of her, it was my way or the highway. In little time at all, my husband’s anger at my viewpoint was palpable. Being the biological father, he intended to participate fully in all aspects of raising our daughter.
Pride causes you to believe you are better than your partner in all aspects of your marriage. It’s because you have no faith in their ability to make sound decisions. Your partner will find such behavior quite offensive. After all, we’re betting that you married a responsible adult. They should be afforded the opportunity to voice their concerns and occasionally have their wishes followed. On top of that, no one person can claim to be the sole possessor of all knowledge. We know in part, according to Paul’s words (1 Corinthians 13:9).
Nothing should be done out of pride or haughtiness; rather, everyone should think highly of others and try to put themselves last. According to the Scriptures (Philippians 2:3)
God wants you to place your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. True love does not demand to always be right.
- You Can’t Handle Correction From Your Spouse
Friendship, like iron, may hone another person’s character. According to (Proverbs 27:17)
Your spouse has the clearest picture of your life because they are the closest to you. They will eventually learn your every weakness and strength like the back of their hand. This makes them the ideal people to assist you in polishing your rough edges. However, a proud partner will not accept criticism quietly. When their partner points out their shortcomings, they become defensive. When corrected, they take it as a personal attack.
Your partner should do more than just make you happier; they should also assist you develop into a more admirable person. You might pick up some of their good nature. Two heads are better than one, according to the Bible. When two people are together, if one of them falls, the other will be there to pick them up, but if any of them fall separately, may the fates be against them (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). It’s not smart to act like a single person if you’re married. If you want your partner to help you improve, you need to be willing to take criticism.
4. You Do Not Meet Your Spouses Needs
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and by His death to provide a ransom for many. (Mark 10:45)
Weekends were something that Nancy looked forward to every week. She was looking forward to a night in with her husband Mike, where they could watch a movie and talk. Nothing else would have satisfied her needs and wants more. Mike, on the other hand, was apathetic toward cinema. To him, Nancy’s actions smacked of immaturity and “unmanliness.”
He finally worked up the nerve one Sunday to tell her he couldn’t stand “lazing” around any longer while she watched her dull movies. Mark’s egotism was oozing out of him.
Pride leads to egotism. Everything, in your opinion, is about you. You want your partner to go out of their way to accommodate your wants, but you’re not interested in doing the same for them. You aren’t willing to make sacrifices that would be inconvenient for you only to make your partner happy.
You think you’re head and shoulders above the rest of them. Paul advised the Philippians to consider not only their own interests, but also the interests of others around them (Philippians 2:4). Another obvious symptom of pride is ignoring your partner’s demands.
- You have higher spiritual aspirations than your partner.
Who are you to pass judgement on the servant of another? His success or failure is determined by himself alone. For sure, God will cause him to stand, for God has the power to do so. That verse is Romans 14:4.
Jason grew up in a religious household; his parents served as pastors of a small church. His parents had a ritual of waking him and his siblings up for prayer every morning at 3 o’clock. Slowly but surely, he began to internalize this way of life. He assumed that after they were married, Stacy would share his devotion to prayer by getting up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. Stacy, a chronic early riser, would get out of bed only at six every morning to say her morning prayers. That time, she had more energy and was well rested. In retaliation, Jason would frequently tease her, claiming that she lacked the “spiritual strength” to stay awake till 3 am. Jason let his ego get the best of him.
Your pride may be manifesting itself if you constantly judge your partner’s spiritual progress as inferior to your own. God is the only fair judge, thus in the end, we all have to answer to him. Even while partners in marriage should keep each other honest, you have no right to pass judgment on their relationship with God. Only God knows what’s in our minds and hearts (Jeremiah 17:10). During his time on Earth, Jesus frequently criticized the Pharisees and teachers of the law for their sanctimonious attitudes. Make sure you and I don’t bring that same pharisaical mentality into your marriage.
You Never Take the Lead in Your Marriage.
Thus, sin exists in the life of anyone who is aware of the right action to take but chooses to take none. (James 4:17)
Maybe you have a good idea of what might help your marriage. You and your spouse are positive that if you made weekly date nights a priority, your marriage would flourish. You are aware that your lack of sexual initiative is frustrating to your partner. It’s obvious that hiding problems is damaging to your marriage. But. To put it another way, you wouldn’t bother to do anything. Waiting for your partner to take the initiative to work on your marriage is a defense mechanism you adopt to avoid looking weak or reliant.
Without swallowing your pride, you won’t take the first step toward a better marriage. It’s unhelpful to think that your spouse is the only one who will suffer if your marriage fails. The agony will also be felt by you.