Blind Spots You Must Check When You Are Making Choices In Marriage – Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

Nigerian pastor, best selling author, television host, relationship coach, counselor and lead pastor of David Christian centre Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo has listed out the blind spots people should watch out for when they want to get married.

He said

I want to talk about blind spot in when you are making choices in marriage… 

Basically blindspots are like areas where your view is obstructed and you learn that more when you learn how to drive, you Know that when you are driving there is an angle you will be, if someone is coming from behind, you will not see the person that is what causes most accidents and when you ask them “ahah you didn’t see them??” And they reply “I didn’t see” and that’s because most time the person is in their ‘blindspot’.

So, what happens most times is that when a person wants to choose a partner in marriage there are some things that cause you to have blind spot,—- I will only mention three of them;


  Selfishness can be a blind spot. Matthew 16:25  says that “if you try to save your life you will destroy it”. Jesus was speaking and I knew he wasn’t talking about marriage but the principle of the word of God can be applied all through. I kept on thinking about it that if you make the choice of marriage from a selfish position or from a selfish point of view you are going to destroy your life because marriage in itself by it’s very nature was not created based on selfishness.

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 God said it is not good for a man to be alone then I will send him a helper, I will make him someone to come and help him by very nature of that decision it was not a selfish decision. So marriage in itself is never about what you can get it’s always about what you can give. If you make a choice about whom to marry based on what the person will do for you you will be frustrated in marriage. You are most likely going to choose the wrong person.

2. SEX.

  Once sex enter the equation like this people do not really use to see again or hear. All of a sudden everything shut down. Look at King David, all the love song in the Bible, it’s him that wrote it.

He saw naked woman and his mind shut down, he didn’t think at all..

Most times when people starts having sex there is nothing more in the relationship because you have taken away intimacy, you’ve rushed it all.

 Anytime you have sex with a person, everytime you see the person what you will be thinking about is how to sleep with the person.

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I have seen young girls in very bad relationship, the guy is beating them, he is cheating on them, doing all kinds of things and you will be like this guy is not treating you well and they will reply “oh he is my first love” by that they meant it’s the guy that disvirgined them and that’s the more reason they want to stay there so if sex was not in the equation don’t you think the person would have made better choices?

Sex has a way that he keeps you from thinking, you’re no longer talking about the important things and that’s why I love that thing that pastor bimbo of blessed memory used to say that “the courtship period is not for intercourse but for interview but once intercourse enters the picture, interview ends. Nobody is asking question again.

So, when God say no premarital sex, it’s not because He is wicked. Because when sex is not involved, you will make smarter decisions because you will see clearer and at that point because there is no sex and there is nothing connecting you with that person.


 Somebody can look good, can tick all the boxes and the person may just not be the right person and the only way you can know, it’s if you tap into your spirit..  He can have all the qualities but might still not be the one God planned for you. That is the more reason you must still pray. 

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Marriage is more spiritual than it is physical. If God that created marriage is a spirit which means that marriage is spiritual. So, you can not use your flesh to make a spiritual decision. Marriage is not about we love each other, marriage is about destiny. 

So, as a Christian don’t get carried away by what the world is doing you must do things God’s way because at the end it is God who end up blessing that marriage and God will not bless what he did not put together….

So from today, after you have taken time to check out all the boxes, take time and pray. Have conversations with God because it is only him that sees the heart. Though the person may be everything but what is his heart like? So when it comes to marriage dont make it a natural decision, take time out and pray..

Who you are going the journey of life with its so vital, the person you marry has the ability to change the rest of your life.

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