Can I Regain My Spouse’s Affection?

How can I regain my spouse’s affection?

Stan remarked resentfully, “I don’t believe there is anything I can do to make her like me.” She’s decided, and now there’s nothing I can do about it.

Inwardly, I reflected on the number of times I’ve heard those words while glancing at Stan.

Many of us doubt that we can win over anybody, much less our spouse. To be honest, we don’t care either way whether they approve of us or not. One of two things will happen: they either adore us and stick around, or they won’t.

With the comment, “Things go nice for us for a time and then they go wrong,” Stan further exposed his apathetic attitude toward relationships. Some days, no matter what I do, it just isn’t right.

Perhaps what Stan is saying rings true for you. As you contemplate the day ahead, you and your spouse may be wondering how things are going to go. It’s natural to feel helpless when it comes to influencing your partner’s sentiments for you. Contrary to popular belief, however, this is not correct.

We have a profound effect on each other, I told Stan. There are probably a lot of little and big things you’re doing that are either bringing her closer to you or pushing her away.

““Boy, if that’s true I certainly don’t know what they are,” he said.

The question: “Have you asked her?” I made an inquiry.

I don’t think it was the greatest way to put it,” he said. I’ve already informed her that I can’t make her happy.

Saying, “I’ll bet that didn’t go over well,” I guess I was right. That’s the kind of charge I’m referring about. All of your accusations, sarcasm, insensitivity, and other behaviors are what drove her away.

Stan’s expression was one of mild bewilderment.

I think you have the potential to accomplish a lot of good things, and when you prioritize them above mistakes, you’ll find that the world opens up to you and you’ll feel more connected.

Stan argued, “I don’t believe it’s that straightforward.” Some of those methods, I’ve tried, and they don’t always pan out.

I agreed with Stan, saying, “Of course you’re correct.” The complexity of human relationships is immense. It’s possible that hurts from the last week or even the past year are adding up and having an effect on the here and now. But I can guarantee you that relationships, like plants, will flourish and thrive despite our best efforts to keep them from doing so.

Making your partner like you requires a multi-step process that includes keeping in mind the following:

Take the initiative to earn that person’s admiration. Put an end to your apathy and start taking the reins in your partnership. Create a plan, similar to the ones you used at the beginning of your relationship, to make your partner fall in love with you once again.

Step two: watch and learn. See what develops! Take notice of the times your partner expresses satisfaction with anything you’ve done. Look for and take note of the trends. If there are times when you are pleasant to be around, what are they? Observe!

Third, observe your own successes and failures. Patterns will become apparent to you as you examine more closely. Is it common for you, perhaps, to feel irritable at the end of the workday? Do you feel frustrated when you come in the door and see toys all over the floor from your children’s play? Do you become irritated when there’s too much noise at home or when your partner doesn’t give you enough attention? What is your reaction? Take note of the times you interact well and the times you interact negatively.

Fourth, fix your current flaws. Once you have collected enough data to accurately assess the ways in which your actions are straining your relationship, you can begin fixing the underlying problem. Create a strategy to improve your weak areas. Talk to a trusted adult, such as a pastor, an accountability partner, or a counselor, to help you stick to your plan.

Last but not least, tell your partner they may offer you honest criticism. Talk to your partner about setting up a system of regular feedback. Without information on our progress, it is very difficult to implement changes successfully. Although it requires bravery, comments may help you fine-tune your strategy.

Stan realized that he had a greater effect on his partner’s emotions than he had realized before. I’m pleased to say that, thanks to our joint efforts, he is seeing considerable improvement in his partner’s sentiments for him.