How to Enjoy Marriage

How to Continue to Have Fun Together After You’ve Gotten Married

On the terrace of a restaurant in Florence, Italy, a senior citizen couple sat down to supper not far from where I was sitting. Aside from using their hands to eat, they smiled, laughed, looked deeply into each other’s eyes, and held hands with each other. I was surprised to learn that after a little conversation with them as I was leaving the restaurant, this couple had been married for several decades; they were as happy as newlyweds.

At the restaurant, I met a couple who had been married for quite some time, but throughout the trip, I saw many more elderly couples who appeared to be having just as much pleasure. In the United States, where I live, long-term couples tend to settle into a dreary existence together; in Italy, I witnessed the opposite: a joyful connection between spouses. Many American couples appear to put pleasure on the back burner as they juggle the many responsibilities of raising children, maintaining a career, and maintaining a home.

I was curious if Italian marriages continue longer than American ones because of the striking contrast between fun-loving Italian spouses and boring American couples. To answer your question quickly: yes. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the divorce rate in the United States was 5.2 per 1,000 persons in 2008, whereas the rate in Italy was just 1.3 per 1,000.

Is there a link between happy marriages and couples that make time to have fun together? A study conducted in 2008 by the University of Denver discovered that the more fun married couples spent together, the happier their relationships become. Howard Markman, co-director of the university’s Center for Marital and Family Studies, reflected on the findings in an interview with USA Today, saying, “The more you put in fun and friendship and being there for your spouse, the better the relationship will grow over time.” The connection between having a good time together as a couple and being content is strong and meaningful.

Regardless of how long you’ve been married, it’s always a good idea to schedule some quality time for pleasant activities as a couple. I offer the following suggestions for bringing joy into your marital life:

Toy with one another

Adults need playtime, too! Even adults need to have fun once in a while so that they may use their God-given imaginations to their maximum potential. Regularly set aside time to have fun with your partner, whether that’s at home with charades or a board game, or at a fun destination like mini golf or bowling. You may create a sense of childish wonder into your marriage by talking about the things you and your spouse liked doing together when you were kids.

Share a good laugh

The American Psychological Association states that a sense of humor is essential to a happy marriage since it aids in maintaining perspective and combating boredom and loneliness. Some examples of shared humorous activities include the use of practical jokes, the sharing of humorous news articles, the viewing of comedic films or television shows, and the enjoyment of the antics of children or animals.

Share kind touches with one another.

Displaying physical affection in ways that are not sexual is a great way to show your love for each other and develop the relationship that is so vital to a happy marriage. Make use of the many chances God gives you to physically show your love for one another every day, whether it’s holding hands like the sweet couple I met in Italy, or exchanging reassuring pats on the back. When the time is perfect, don’t be afraid to playfully tousle your partner’s hair; this kind of enjoyable contact might encourage your partner to become more playful with you. Activities like swing dance and swimming are great dates since they allow for lots of physical contact.

Prepare meals as a family

Enjoying one’s meal may be a delightful experience. Sharing a meal was one of the most typical ways I saw married Italians having fun together. They didn’t rush through their meals, but instead took the time to appreciate each bite and share their thoughts on how good it was. Both you and your partner may enjoy the everyday ritual of preparing and eating meals if you and your partner view it as a blessing from God. Coordinate meals and snacks around items you both enjoy eating, and try to prepare them in the kitchen together. The time it took my husband and I to cook pizzas for supper in Italy was little, but the experience strengthened our bond in ways we never could have imagined. It’s important to take your time over a meal with your loved one, appreciating the various ways the food may stimulate your senses (from the pleasant aromas to the satisfying flavors).

Join forces in the classroom

Educating oneself is enjoyable. Go ahead and enroll in a course or two that both of you are excited about if it works with your schedule (such as weekend or weeknight classes at your local community center). Classes in the arts, writing, computers, mechanics, and foreign languages are just few of the many possibilities available in most areas. You can have a good time together in class, and you can continue to have a good time using the skills you’ve learned in the real world, whether at home or in community service.

Join forces and travel

Trips bring the exhilarating excitement of discovery and adventure into your life, making them one of the most exciting ways to have fun together. Visit protected natural environments, such as national parks, to marvel at God’s handiwork. Take your spouse on a spiritual journey with you to significant locations in church history or in your own spiritual development. Spend some time learning about each other while immersed in the local culture of a location that fascinates you both.

Inviting God’s pleasure into your marriage on a daily basis will help strengthen it and prolong its longevity if you and your spouse make having fun together a top priority in your relationship.