Some time ago, a woman whose marriage was at the verge of collapse met me for advice. As usual, I will not go into details of the issue that were at stake, so that, her secret will remain secret. In her case, the man was wrong and what the woman did was right. She was, therefore, not willing to submit to what she felt was wrong. To her, she is not his child, but his wife and she was not ready to open her eyes and bring herself under an unjust decision.
I made her to see that submitting to her husband when the issues involved do not lead to death or family disaster was not only fighting for the survival of her marriage, but also honouring God who created marriage. I drew her attention to Hebrews 13:4, which says, “marriage is honourable in all …”
I also drew her attention to 1Samuel 2:30 where God, Himself, said: “For them that honour me, I will honour and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.” I told her that complying with her husband’s decision and putting herself under his authority even when she thinks he is wrong was the only option available for her marriage not to break or become more problematic.
She felt humiliated, but I told her that her response to what she perceived to be humiliation should be humility. By the time she realised that she could turn her feelings of humiliation to humility, thereby, saving her marriage and bringing honour to God, she calmed down.
The word of God says, “before honour is humility.” How I wish wives and fiancées will be able to quickly turn feelings of humiliation into humility. How I wish husbands and fiances can be in charge of their minds and quickly turn the feelings of humiliation and control from their wives into humility.
This can easily be done anytime you decide to do so whenever you have issues with your spouse or the person you are engaged to. In my own marriage, there were times that my wife, Carol, immediately changed her mind 360 degrees from the view she held. There were also times that I changed my opinion 360 degrees, so that, our marriage can remain very healthy. We have found out that each time we deliberately decided to change our feelings to that of humility and humble ourselves before each other, those negative feelings get flushed out and they get replaced by positive vibrations within us and flowing through us. You can train your mind to become more mature than our own.
A woman once told me that she was not ready to marry her husband again because he does not take to her advice and she was not ready to submit to him when she knows he is wrong. And this is what many women say of their husbands.
I keep telling wives that if an adviser or minister or any other worker should give 10 pieces of advice to his or her boss and that boss implements three out of the 10, then it means that the adviser is a very highly intelligent person. It is a man who has no mind of his own that will implement majority of the suggestions given by those he is leading.
Any wife or fiancée that would agree with me that it is not easy for a normal man to accept majority of her suggestions might have discovered through this article another secret to a healthier marital relationship. May no wife or husband think they have the monopoly of knowledge to always decide who is wrong and who is right. Love you!
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