IS ORAL SEX BETWEEN MARRIED COUPLE A SIN?

IS ORAL SEX BETWEEN MARRIED COUPLE A SIN?

by Pastor Sam Olagbenjo

The question as to whether Christian couples should practise it is a controversial one.

I have counseled many Christian couples who were having marital crisis because either the husband or wife believed that oral sex was a sin..

Some Christian leaders say oral sex is not biblical. They insist it is a creation of a morally- debased world and Christians should not be part of such satanic practices.

But some other church leaders say there is nothing wrong with it as far as it is practised among married couples.

Such protagonists quote Song of Solomon 2:3 to make their case:

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, So is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, And his fruit was sweet to my taste.”

What is Oral Sex?

In Oral Sex, the woman receives the male penis into her mouth in order to stimulate the glans of the penis with her lips and tongue.

Also the man may stimulate the woman with his tongue on her clitoris. Both form of oral sex can bring an orgasm if prolonged. It is another avenue for foreplay and it should not replace formal sex. It does not mean ejaculating into the mouth.

If it is Ok to kiss a wife’s lips, nipples and body, why not her sexual organs (Clitoris and labia minora). Otherwise, we are relegating sexual organ to a “dirty” category compared to the rest of the body-but our whole body is wonderfully made

No where does the Bible forbid it or discuss it. There is no biblical evidence that Oral Sex is a sin against God for a husband and wife to express love for each other in this way.

Even the book of Leviticus, which mentions many Old Testament sex-related prohibitions and rules for the Israelites, never mentions it. We see no reason to believe that expressing affection for one’s mate in this way is forbidden or would necessarily harm one’s walk with God.

We are aware that some have tried to make a biblical issue out of what parts of the body a married couple can and cannot kiss. In their minds, there is only only one biblical form of sexual expression in marriage, sexual intercourse. They attempt to defend their viewpoint on biblical grounds—trying to make it into a holiness issue.

However, no where do we see Scripture putting such limits on the sexual relationship of a godly husband and wife, even Levitical priests (who were forbidden to do many things).

Most knowledgeable and spiritually mature Christians realize that God is the author of sex and love, and every part and sensation of the human body, and that He intended the relationship between husband and wife to be loving, sensuous, joyful, creative and full of pleasure.

Read the somewhat cryptic Song of Solomon from a lover’s point of view. Using delicate, romantic language and metaphors, it describes a beautiful, affectionate, romantic, sensuous, joyful and passionate love between husband and wife. It seems to be speaking of the lovers tasting, eating and drinking of each other’s bodies (Song of Songs 2:3; 4:16; 8:2).

One cannot be sure what this means exactly, but certainly we see no evidence here or elsewhere that God is concerned with what part of their bodies might be touching, including where they kissed their mate.

God is concerned about your love for each other. He wants all Christians, including husbands and wives, to be kind to each other, patient, respectful and unselfish. Ultimate love is pure in motive and action. Follow that goal, and you are not likely to go wrong.

What about Sodom?

Perhaps you have heard some one claim that oral lovemaking in marriage as wrong by associating it with the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

This comparison is misguided and offensive. It is quite clear that Sodom’s problems had nothing to do with how godly, loving marriage partners were expressing their affection for each other.

To the contrary, there was a total lack of godly, loving, heterosexual marriage partners in Sodom (save Lot and his wife). We shall not name the many gross and demonically inspired evils that probably took place among the wicked there. It is better left unsaid.

Suffice it to say that the list would sicken most people. “The men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the Lord” (Genesis 13:13).

Serious students of the Bible and archaeology know that the kind of things that were going on at Sodom were done by extremely ungodly people, expressing enormous selfishness, total lack of love, extreme spiritual depravity, and major rebellion against God.

In other words, the sex lives of godly husbands and wives was not an issue at these cities, nor did it have anything to do with its destruction.

The only type of sex that shouldn’t be done in marriage is sodomy, which is anal sex. Other than that if you choose to have oral sex or try various sexual positions, then it’s OK.

Bible Passage On Marital Sex!!!

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

You both must share your feelings on this matter. Obviously you have to have respect for one another. You can’t pressure someone to do something that they don’t want to do, but as long as you’re both OK with it oral sex is perfectly fine.

Songs Of Solomon
Song of Solomon was a love poem between husband and wife and it was very steamy.

Song of Solomon 8:1-2 O that thou wert as my brother, that sucked the breasts of my mother! when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yea, I should not be despised. 2 I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother’s house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.

Song of Solomon 2:2-3 Like a lily among the thorns, so is my darling among the maidens. 3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 4:15-16 You are a garden spring, a well of fresh water, streams flowing from Lebanon. Awake, north wind, and come, south wind. 16 Make my garden breathe out, let its fragrance flow. Let my beloved come into his garden, and let him eat its choicest fruits.

Through the metaphors you can see it was more than just regular sex.

So is oral sex within marriage a sin no it isn’t, but it should be discussed. If no one feels condemned and you both agree on it than oral sex is OK.

In Conclusion!

Is oral sex a sin before marriage?

Yes, we must not perform oral with our boyfriends and girlfriends outside of marriage as a way to satisfy our sexual desires.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
Galatians 5:19-20

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Hope it is cleared?

God Bless You!

Pst Samuel Olagbenjo
Instagram: samuelolagbenjo