LESSON 2: NEVER MAKE A CONCLUSION ON A MATTER WITHOUT PUTTING YOURSELF IN THE SHOES OF THE OTHER PERSON
Godwin Ojotu
In His sermon on the mount, our Lord Jesus Christ made a very important statement that some have referred to as the golden rule. It states: “So, in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you”. (Matthew 7:12, NIV). I have read this statement for years and have always had a basic understanding of this verse but this year, the Lord used it to open my eyes to a very important truth and that truth is one of the major lessons I have learnt this year.
Sometime this year in the tumultuous terrains of ministry, I faced a very delicate situation. It’s a situation that I will not go into too many details about for ethical reasons. All I will say is that in this situation there was a conflict of interests. A conflict of interest arises when what is in a person’s best interest is not in the best interest of another person to which that individual owes loyalty. This situation had to do with someone I have huge respect for.
In the heat of the moment, I felt I was right to continue in a direction I was heading. I analyzed this situation thoughtfully and I felt my motives were pure. I had no ill feeling towards this person who was going to incur some loss if I continued in the direction of my decision. I felt a little prick in my conscience, but I couldn’t understand in my head because from my point of view I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I am so sorry I am speaking in parables without more details.
Due to some other factors, I didn’t go ahead in the direction of my decision. Some amount of time passed, and I had almost forgotten about that situation, and then I felt the Holy Spirit bring it back to my mind. In Africa, when a parent wants to discuss some serious disciplinary issues with a child, the parent first allows the child to sleep and then wakes the child up in the middle of the night when the child is sound asleep and has forgotten about the episode.
This is what I felt the Holy Spirit did with me concerning this situation.
Several months after everything had passed, the Holy Spirit brought this situation to my attention. Once again, I analyzed the situation in my heart, and I felt I did nothing wrong.
I was arguing with the Holy Spirit in my heart. It was in that moment that the Holy Ghost made a statement I will never forget: “You see nothing wrong in what you were about to do because you looked at the situation only from your perspective. For just a minute, put yourself in the shoes of the other person and exchange places with him in your mind. How would you feel towards him if you swapped places and he did what you were about to do?”. I answered, “Lord I would have understood his action, but I wouldn’t have been very happy about it”.
That is when the truth hit me! I had been looking at the situation only from my own perspective. The moment I swapped places with this person in my mind, I saw a completely different picture of the same situation. The Holy Spirit used the verse I quoted earlier above to bring understanding to me in this situation. You see in videography, there are different views based on the position of the camera.
The best video clips are those that were produced with multiple camera positions. When they are combined, a beautiful video clip is born. When a video clip has only one camera view, the quality is usually lower. When we learn how to see situations from other people’s perspectives, it gives us a bigger picture and we make better decisions. After the fall of Adam, selfishness became ingrained in the fabric of the soul of man and each person only sees situations from their own personal perspective.
After this episode, I went for a meeting with this person and apologized for my actions. Even though I didn’t follow through with my plans due to other factors, I felt the need to apologize and after that, peace flooded my heart regarding this situation.
The Lesson is this: Never make a conclusion on a matter without putting yourself in the shoes of the other person.
This goes against the carnal inclinations of our selfish nature, but it is the way to victory. It is the path of spiritual maturity and the highway to greater blessings. If we learn this, I believe there will be less conflicts and problems in interpersonal relationships. No wonder the verse above is referred to as the golden rule.
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