The place of money in marriage

The place of money in marriage

Our attitude towards money is of
utmost importance, because it is a reflection of
our attitude towards God. As Larry Burkett said,
“You can tell more about the spiritual lives of a
couple by looking at their checkbook than by
anything else.”
Everything we have comes from God. He owns it,
and He entrusts it to us to use for His purposes.
True financial success comes not from
accumulating a large surplus in our bank account,
but from following God’s plan for our finances. As
we do this, He will provide for all of our needs.
Are money problems rearing their ugly head and
causing tension in your family? Has it been
difficult for you to manage your finances and to
know where you really stand? If so, consider this
simple three-step plan for successful money
management.

  1. Give to God first.
    As Christians, our first financial priority, just as in
    every other area of life, should be God and His
    work. The issue of managing all of our gifts,
    including our finances, is of great importance to
    God. Figuring out how much to give as a
    minimum is fairly easy, as the Bible instructs us
    to give a tithe, or one tenth or our income back to
    God. This is a great starting point for Christian
    giving and should be calculated on the gross
    salary (or on net income before taxes for those in
    businesses for themselves).
    Now, you may be thinking: How can we possibly
    do that when we are already struggling to make
    ends meet? I thought you were going to tell us
    how to get out of financial trouble, not make it
    worse! The truth is there will never be “enough” to
    give. If we wait until all of our needs and desires
    are met before we start to give, it will never
    happen. In fact, statistics show that in Canada ,
    the more a person makes, the less they are likely
    to give, percentage-wise. The more we have, the
    more we think we need.
    Interestingly, people today talk very little about
    their actual salary or how much they are worth.
    Like all secrets, this gives far more power to
    money than it actually deserves. Similarly, and
    more properly, people who tithe do not go around
    boasting about it. But I would like to challenge
    you to ask people you trust whether or not they
    tithe. If they do tithe, ask them about their
    experience. In all my discussions with people
    about money I have never heard anyone say that
    their financial problems started or got worse once
    they started to tithe. On the contrary, people who
    tithe seem to be better off than those who don’t. It
    is one of the many mysteries of how God works.
  2. Set aside funds for regular
    savings.

    An important second step is to establish the
    discipline of setting aside money for inevitable
    expenses and large purchases, such as the down
    payment for a home, college education, vacations
    and retirement. This will allow you to spend from
    cash resources and eliminate the need to borrow
    when that is not wise. You will be surprised by
    how much can be accumulated by a simple but
    disciplined savings program.
    Do not plan your savings after you plan your
    spending, because experience shows that those
    who try this rarely succeed. You may decide to
    make this a percentage of your income, and this
    will probably change as you go through the
    various stages of life. All financial planners will
    tell you that the sooner you start saving the more
    you will be able to save, so plan to start right now.
    The issue of savings is one that requires a
    balanced perspective. The Bible makes it clear
    that we are supposed to save, but it never tells us
    how much is too much or too little. The purpose
    of saving is to provide for legitimate future needs,
    and for some it will allow you to become one of
    those special people who can fund important
    needs of others.
  3. Spend the rest on what you need.
    The key to good money management is expense
    management. We need to learn to live below our
    means and be content with what God has given
    us. This is hard for all of us, but it is an important
    life lesson. The key is to develop a good budget,
    which is basically a spending plan. Invest the time
    in learning to use helpful tools, such as a
    computer spreadsheet or a financial program. If
    you have never had a budget, spend two or three
    months tracking your spending. Try keeping a log
    every time you spend money so that you can
    improve your budget understanding. Then
    examine your habits and determine how you
    would like to proceed and where you need to cut
    back.
    Be committed to this plan and do not be
    discouraged if you do not see results for the first
    two or three months. It takes time to break old
    habits, and if you have gotten yourself into a
    financial hole it will take time to dig back out. Be
    patient and stick to your budget spending,
    because it really does work.
    Finally, two more important points to
    consider:
    Always discuss finances as a couple. One spouse
    likely has more financial skills than the other and
    will naturally take the lead, but this is no excuse
    for the other spouse not to be involved in the
    family financial situation. You both need to
    understand the issues that you are facing, and
    make decisions as a team. Financial problems are
    listed as a major cause of strife in the marriage
    relationship, and it often starts when one partner
    is being kept in the dark.
    If you have financial problems, seek help before it
    is too late. Financial problems can be solved but it
    often means changes, some of which may not be
    that easy. A qualified financial planner can help
    you identify the problem areas and think through
    solutions that will work for your family.
    Above all, listen to what God may be saying to
    you through your financial circumstances.
    Finances can be a dividing factor in marriage, but
    they can also bring you together in a new and
    deeper way, as you trust God together and follow
    His plan.
    If you are willing follow this simple plan and begin
    to intelligently and prayerfully give away 10% of
    your income, I believe your financial situation will
    improve. More importantly, you will be storing up
    treasures in heaven, which is what really counts.
    After a few months, please write us and let us
    know what is happening to your financial position.
    I have never met an ex-tither and I would love to
    hear your story as you seek to control your
    finances and serve God in this way.
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