Being single in this part of the world can be a very frustrating and heart-ripping phase of life, especially in Nigeria where many are being pressured by family, friends and uninvited ‘well-meaning’ Nigerians to be quick in getting married as soon as they feel they are due for marriage. This, in turn, has made many single men and ladies settle into wrong and abusive relationships and marriages. But for some, it’s a totally different and opposite story which may be due to their living environment and/or experiences.
Most people, however, do not equate singleness to joy and happiness but that phase of life can be the most lovable phase of your life if you truly have a better understanding of what it means to be single. As they say, if you know better, you will do better. While the society has made many to believe that having no love partner is a sad and maybe unacceptable state, especially at a certain age, I believe singleness is a necessary phase everyone has to experience, and yes, it has its pros and cons. But while we may never be fully content in any state we find ourselves, I have identified three types of singles that exist according to the scripture, and everyone in this phase, definitely belong to one.
Three types of singles
After the Pharisees approached Jesus on the issue of divorce, where they tried to justify Moses’ permission for divorce on the basis of a divorce letter, Jesus took them down to the genesis of marriage, making them understand divorce has never been ideal and the only permitted case for divorce is the case of marriage infidelity. The disciples, some who were themselves single at the time couldn’t grasp the theology and concluded ‘it is better not to marry’ and rather remain single all their lives.
Hearing this, Jesus helped them understand His point by first clarifying the fact that marriage is not for everyone. Moreover, singleness is a grace. He then explained there are three types of singles:
Chosen singles – According to Jesus, this category of people, which are not gender-specific ss could be either male or female, are either ‘born that way’ and never ‘never give marriage a thought’ in their life. (Matt. 19:12a, MSG). Probably the likes of Elijah, John the Baptist, Apostle Paul are in this category. They were chosen that way and not really like they decided by themselves, to remain single.
Involuntary singles – This category of singles are those who really like to exit that phase of their life but for some circumstantial reasons, they ‘never get asked – or accepted’. (Matt. 19:12b, MSG). This is where many young men and ladies seem to find themselves and even this, takes a lot of strength and courage, considering the amount of pressures people get from family, friends, and the society.
Voluntary singles – These are those, who for reasons best known to them, ‘decide not to get married for kingdom reasons’ (Matt. 19:12c, MSG). These are very rare in the society today but the fact they are rare does not mean they don’t exist. Their percentage ratio is just low. They are the ones who decided by themselves, to remain single for the rest of their lives, especially for the sake of the work God has called them into. Probably some missionaries and global evangelists may be found in this category.
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