WHEN GIVING BIRTH TO CHILDREN, CONSIDER YOUR FINANCIAL REALITIES

WHEN GIVING BIRTH TO CHILDREN, CONSIDER YOUR FINANCIAL REALITIES…

For everyone:

Yesterday, I watched a very poor family whose wife was calling on the government for financial assistance. Living in a very poverty-sticken area of our country, it wasn’t completely out of place to request for assistance. And I felt for her family. But then she said something that ended my sympathy for her: she said she has five children and was expecting the sixth one. What??? Honestly, I told my wife who was in the kitchen at the moment, that what’s even wrong with many Africans with respect to the number of children they give birth to?

As a marriage/relationship counselor and mentor to thousands of people out there, I owe you a fatherly advice: Sometimes the truth I share may not go down well with many of us because of some agelong beliefs, superstitions, myths, wrong knowledge and even negative mindset that we still uphold. As logical beings, sometimes, we should check, investigate, query, analyse, prove, or ask questions about the things we just practise, you know what I mean. Personally, I don’t do things because everybody is doing it; I do things with understanding. The problem we have in this part of the world is that we always throw understanding and wisdom to the wind when it comes to some important things and agelong beliefs. We become emotional instead of logical.

Personally, I am not always comfortable when I address some abnormalies in our societies and countries because most people always become sentimental and emotional. Friends, important decisions of our lives should be taken from a position of knowledge and facts. Please learn to control your emotions.

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Children are very important in marriage. Children are called blessings from God. In the Bible, especially in the old testament, the word “blessing” or “blessings” in reference to children means “gifts”, meaning a package that God alone has power to give (that’s why nobody should ever say that it’s because of their power that they have all the children they have). It doesn’t mean that when a family have children their financial fortunate will change as many of us have believed for years. Do you see why it’s good to read and understand the Bible well? Even many pastors interpret those verses in error. And that’s where the bigger problem is. As a Bible scholar, I have Greek and Hebraic Bible and study materials, Bible concordances, Matthew Henry Concordance, reference Bible, etc. Whenever I’m unsure of a term used in the Bible I refer to those materials for better or proper understanding.

To have children and to believe that their arrival into a marriage will bring financial fortune is nothing but an agelong superstition. There’s nothing mystical about children (except “special” children born with superhuman abilities. However, 99.999% of the other children in the world are just normal). Financial economy from time immemorial respond to sound financial knowledge. Individuals and countries don’t experience economic development because of children. They work hard to achieve development.

Now I want the parents who uphold such beliefs to look at it this way: even though you are now a parent, you were once a child, your parents were also once children, your grandparents were once children, how come none of you ever brought financial breakthroughs to your families? How come your family or lineage is still a poor one? If children bring financial breakthroughs, by now your family should not be in poverty, by now you shouldn’t be waiting for children you have now to bring financial respite. Do you now see why I say many of us throw reasoning to the wind when the matter of children is raised? Please think about it.

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In Africa the belief that children usher in financial prosperity is so strong. But my question to us all is: how come the African continent with all the millions of children it has is still very poor? For your information: Africa houses most of the poorest families on earth. There’s nothing mystical about children. Nothing.

However, this is what children and parents must do to come out of poverty: have a burning desire to see things change in your family, have a vision, work harder, do things differently, seize life defining opportunities, plan, strategize, implement, carry out your dreams, save, invest, etc.

In conclusion: With the exception of communist countries, most nations of the world don’t cater for the children born into families of their citizens. It’s those families’ prerogative to do so. Worse still, no government in Africa has ever taken care of the children of its citizens. It’s not their business. So why do Africans keep making same mistake every now and then? Why do many families give birth to the number of children they can’t cater for in the first place? Of course, God is the giver of children, however, it’s our personal responsibility as couples to regulate the number based on our financial situation. Remember our parents did that mistake also in the past by giving birth to too many children they couldn’t cater for because they didn’t know better and many of us went through some “hell” as we were growing up. Why do you also want your children to go through such hardships?

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Without trying to burst your bubble: some families have no business having 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 or even 7 children. How can a family grossing less N50,000 with this current economy reality have six children? How can that couple take care of them without being so stressed up and into troubles? In most cases, the children of such families are not in school, are on the streets hawking items in order to survive? Is that the life you want for your children? God forbid! Please let’s use our brains. The number of children doesn’t hold any water in destiny fulfilment. Every child has a colour destiny. But most times, the parents’ indiscretion put those destinies on hold or even kill them. May God give us understanding. Many thanks for reading, commenting, liking and sharing.

See you at the top!

Your friend,

Coach Joshua

Photo credits: Klala Photography

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