Why dating someone who is Unequally Yoked Is More Dangerous Than You Think

Is dating someone who doesn’t share your
beliefs really such a big deal? Actually, yes.

2 Corinthians 6:14 is the oft-cited verse calling
believers to be “equally yoked”. But many
believers fail to see why this command from the
Apostle Paul is so important. Others disregard it
completely. Let’s take a look at this verse using
different versions of Scripture.
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with
unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what
communion hath light with darkness?” – KJV
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For
what partnership has righteousness with
lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with
darkness?” – ESV
“Stop forming inappropriate relationships with
unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners?
Can light have anything in common with
darkness?” – God’s Word Translation
Being equally yoked is not meant to inhibit our
dating lives. Rather, it is a command designed
for protection and honor. Being unequally yoked
is more dangerous than you think – and waiting
for someone with whom you share the same
spiritual heritage is far more rewarding than
many believe.
Dating an Unbeliever is Disobedience
I once received an email from a reader. In it, she
said she didn’t think God cared about who she
dated or married – He had bigger things to worry
about. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
God has always cared about the unions His
people make – as evidenced by His relationship
with Israel.
In Deuteronomy 7 , Moses is instructing the
Israelites in their responsibilities as the people of
God. They have been freed from slavery and are
now free men, about to enter the Promised Land.
But Moses gives a warning:
“You shall make no covenant with [the people of
the land] and show no favor to them.
Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with
them… for they will turn your sons away from
following Me to serve other gods…” (Deut. 7:3-4 )
Fast forward several hundred years, and we find
Israel in direct rebellion against God’s command:
“The sons of Israel lived among the Canaanites…;
and they took their daughters for themselves as
wives, and gave their own daughters to their
sons, and served their gods .” (Judges 3:5-6 )
It probably didn’t seem so harmful at first.
Perhaps the Israelites felt like there weren’t
enough women, or there weren’t enough men to
go around. However they rationalized it, the
Israelites formed covenants between themselves
and people who neither knew nor served God. In
so doing, they were led astray.
Over and over in Scripture, we see this theme
repeated. Two are Samson, who repeatedly
sought out unbelieving women, a choice which in
the end destroyed him (Judges 14 ), and
Solomon, the wisest man in the world – until his
many wives led him to worship other gods (1
Kings 11 ).
Uniting ourselves to people who do not love,
follow, or submit to Christ is direct disobedience
Intimacy is Impossible Without
Spiritual Unity
If Christ is truly King of our lives, our most
intimate selves should be submitted to His
influence. How then can we unite a Spirit-led
soul to one in rebellion against God?
This rubs people the wrong way, because no
matter how respectful, sweet, or “loving” an
unbelieving partner is, he is at odds with Christ –
he is in rebellion. But if we call ourselves
Christians, we’re saying we believe the Bible is
our final authority. The Bible says that all have
sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and
that without Christ we are “[unresponsive] in our
transgressions”, conformed to the world, “living
by the cravings of our flesh” and “by nature,
children of wrath”. (Eph. 2:1-3 ) This is who we
are without Jesus. This is who everyone is apart
from Christ.
Therefore, those of us in Christ cannot be in a
harmonious, God-pleasing relationship with an
unbeliever. There is no fellowship between light
and darkness ( 2 Cor. 7:14 )! The Greek word for
“fellowship” in this passage literally means
contact or intimacy. Through Paul’s inspired
words, we learn that intimacy with unbelievers is
not just discouraged – it’s impossible.
God knows this. It’s why he commanded the
Israelites to marry within the household of faith,
and it’s why He inspired Paul to issue the same
command. This is for our spiritual protection!
Righteousness has nothing in common with a
person who believes they are good enough apart
from God:
“For what do righteousness and wickedness
have in common? Or what fellowship can light
have with darkness? What harmony is there
between Christ and Belial? Or what does a
believer have in common with an unbeliever?” ( 2
Cor. 6:14-15 )
No relationship apart from Christ can be truly
“good” (Mark 10:18 ). No “love” apart from Christ
is true love (1 John 4:16-17 ). It may look like
these things from the outside, but will never be
unified within.
Your Body is a Sanctuary of Worship
Paul’s mandate to be “equally yoked” isn’t found
in a list of commandments; it was written to the
struggling church at Corinth, a group of people
confused about how to live for Christ in a corrupt
world. That’s why he took the time to explain
why equal yoking is essential to the Christian
walk:
“What agreement can exist between the temple
of God and idols? For we are the temple of the
living God. As God has said:
“ I will live with them and walk among them,
and I will be their God, and they will be My people.”
“ Therefore come out from among them
and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you .” (2 Cor. 6:16-17 )
Your body is the new Temple. As a follower of
Christ, the Spirit of God dwells in you. This is why
God calls us to “come out from among them, and
separate.” He’s not telling us to be unloving – we
are called to love unbelievers ( 1 Pet. 2:12 ). God
is calling us to love Him more than we love our
own desire for a relationship. He’s calling us to
be a place of worship.
This is a call to reconsider your view of God and
dating. God cares about our relationships
because He cares about us. He cares about our
purity because that is what keeps us in a
relationship with Him! Our holiness preaches the
gospel louder than our words. Unequal yoking
hinders our walk with God – the one thing we
need more than anything else.