Why Is It Important for Husbands to Hear Words of Affirmation?
The words “I love you” fill my heart with joy. You did a fantastic job of handling the crisis. “Thank you very much for all your efforts; I know how hard it was for you.” I am sorry you are going through this, and I can relate to your anguish.
Words of affirmation are words said by others that show their affection, esteem, and regard for you. In the midst of the chaotic whirlwind that is life, these words are a welcome and encouraging reminder that you are seen and appreciated.
The book The 5 Love Languages: A Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman has made this expression commonplace.
One of the five “love languages” is words of affirmation, and Chapman contends that understanding (and employing) one’s partner’s “love language” may have a profound effect on a relationship. (The other love languages include acts of service, spending time, getting presents, and physical contact.)
My husband’s verbal affirmation of me is very meaningful to me since it is my major love language. My basic human needs of being seen, loved, respected, and cared for have been met.
Do Husbands Value Positive Feedback?
The gender of the speaker does not affect their ability to speak a love language. The “love language” of some women is physical contact, whereas for others it is words of encouragement. Similar to how some men may place a far higher value on words of affirmation and love than deeds of service or quality time spent together,
But even if vocal reassurance and encouragement isn’t your husband’s main “love language,” know that developing this practice will help him feel loved and valued in significant ways.
With these remarks, he feels heard and valued on a far deeper level. Keep in mind, too, that it’s not all praise. Sure, it’s fine to tell your spouse you love him, that he cooks well, that he looks gorgeous, or that he did a fantastic job mowing the grass.
More than just telling him you love him or appreciate him, however, is explaining why you love him or appreciate him in particular.
When things are rough, hearing words of affirmation such as “I believe in you — you’ve got this” may be a huge boost. When you own a mistake and explain how it may have made him feel, you may start along the road to developing some empathy.
Affirmations: Why They Matter
Most of us know that males aren’t emotionless machines, despite common belief to the contrary. A couple’s emotional closeness may grow via the use of affirmative language, which can serve as a protective cocoon of love in the face of adversity.
The world isn’t always a safe place, as we all know. People may be cold, unfriendly, unwelcoming, and unappreciative anywhere: at the office, on the highway, at the supermarket, and in many other places.
Dissenting political messages posted on people’s cars and homes exacerbate existing divisions in the neighborhood. Those feelings of isolation, rejection, and abandonment may be difficult to overcome.
Good affirmations have been shown to have numerous positive effects on mental health, including improving mood and retraining the brain. They stimulate the “reward regions” in your brain, leading to feelings of calm and contentment.
Affirmations from your partner have the same effect, if not more so, since you are more likely to believe them if they are genuine, passionate, and profoundly conveyed than if you were to tell yourself, “I am clever enough and good enough.”
Affirming Words: What Does the Bible Teach?
The Bible offers several teachings regarding the importance of gratitude and encouragement.
Paul urges the church to “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
The Scriptures are a source of strength and hope, as we are commanded to do in Romans 15:4.
Kind words are like honey to the soul and medicine to the bones, as the Bible says in Proverbs 16:24.
And your words have supported many who tripped; you have strengthened faltering knees,” Eliphaz the Temanite says to Job in Job 4:4, consoling him and reminding him that he was always generous with his own words of praise.
For this reason, Paul exhorts the Ephesians 4:29: “Do not allow any unwholesome language come out of your lips, but only what is beneficial for building others up according to their needs.”
It is good and appropriate to use our words to recognise and love one other, regardless of what we choose to name it.
What kind of positive words may I use to encourage my spouse?
Affirming our spouses with kind words may go a long way. Husbands are to show their submission to their wives by loving them, as Paul instructs in Ephesians 5, and women are to show their submission to their husbands by respecting and honoring them. To submit is to yield with awe, affection, and adoration.
And our language is a tool for putting it all into words.
To begin, we may thank him and acknowledge his efforts via the power of words. It’s possible, for instance, to say:
It means a lot to me that you….
As my spouse, you have made my life so much better because of…
Without you, I really would not have been able to….
In other words, don’t just repeat the words. The idea is to be particular and attentive while expressing your gratitude or expressing your appreciation or admiration for him.
Second, our words have the power to uplift and strengthen us, giving us the will to persevere even when we feel like giving up. Some instances are as follows:
When you finally did, you were very patient.
Good grief, you’re killing it at…..
The bright side is that I have faith in you, which is a very rare thing to find in this world. I have faith in your ability to….
There’s more to it than encouraging words.
To conclude, the words we choose to use have the power to demonstrate respect, an essential component of every positive interpersonal connection. Think of some respectful things you can say to your hubby. For instance:
Really impressive work there,…..
What I really want is to be able to….. like you.
I am really pleased with how you….
In this context, “whatever you can say” that expresses your love and respect for your spouse is appropriate.
As a fourth point, the words we choose to use may have a significant impact on the listener’s feelings. Different from one another, men and women may see the world and its many opportunities and perils in quite different ways. Some spouses experience feelings of isolation and unappreciation as a result of this.
But when we are able to openly show empathy for our spouse, it informs him that he is not alone, that we notice his challenges, that we share his suffering, and that we are there to assist.
Your situation must be quite trying for you since….
The difficulty of…. is beyond my comprehension.
Surely you’re experiencing a lot of….
Last but not least, the words we choose have the power to mend broken relationships. There’s a saying that both partners lose in a marriage argument. You’re both losers. But what you say to your spouse afterward may confirm him and demonstrate your love, even if the fight or misunderstanding was little.
I’m so sorry for the way I….. to you.
If I had said…… to you, you would have been devastated.
An Increased Connection
It’s vital to remember that words of affirmation may provide support, admiration, and consideration even if our partner’s main love language is something else.
My husband has told me more than once that my compliments on his driving skills are a powerful kind of affirmation for him since touch is his primary love language. (He truly is a wonderful driver; his instincts are top-notch and help keep us safe.) He thinks he is “doing his job correctly,” whatever that may entail.
Using words of affirmation to strengthen your marriage is a noble goal, and I wish you’ll give it some thought.