I’ve known my husband thirty-three years. We
dated on and off four of those years, starting my
sophomore year of high school and going into
college. We were engaged less than a year.
We’ve been married for over twenty-eight. Add in
three kids, a zoo of pets, a few major moves, and
a son who’s battled cancer twice, we’ve been
navigating life together for what feels like a very
long time. And most of it’s been rough.
During those early sporadic dating years, we
always at least remained close friends. When we
got back together the final time, my husband told
me he’d compared everyone he’d ever dated to
me, but none of them came close. It was me
he’d been looking for the whole time. Me he
loved. Me he wanted forever with.
I can hear your collective “awww’s.” Because it
sounds sweet and perfect and romantic, right?
Not if you saw the other side of the picture. That
would be my side. During the time we were
building a relationship, my parent’s relationship
was crumbling, half a brick by half a brick. A
slow, ugly death that involved countless lies and
another woman.
When I met my husband, I had a father. When I
married my husband, I did not. Not only did my
dad check out on a quarter of a century with my
mom, he completely abandoned me after
nineteen years of what I thought had been a
wonderful childhood.
To say I was a mess doesn’t begin to describe
the aftermath of their divorce. How could
someone who says they love you . . . leave you?
On my wedding day, my husband walked down
the aisle because he loved me. I walked down the
aisle because I was desperate for love.
I’m sure you can see the problem. I couldn’t. And
it showed in the same fights we had over and
over. Thirteen years and three kids in, I had a
choice. Stay with this guy I’d “gotten stuck with”
or abandon my family the way my dad did. No,
I’d never leave my kids, but without their dad,
they wouldn’t be the same. They’d lose the
security I’d been so desperate to find.
I stayed because it was the right thing to do. But
I wanted more than the mess of a marriage I’d
helped make. Something had to change. I
needed glue to keep my husband and I together.
That glue turned out to be God. He is truly a
redeemer.
I began praying for my husband fourteen years
ago. I wish I would’ve prayed the other fourteen.
The road would’ve looked so different. I would’ve
been grateful instead of resentful of the man God
gave me.
It took me half my marriage to realize what I’d
had all along. I couldn’t get past me. I couldn’t let
past frustrations go. I couldn’t “see” my husband
for who he really was. My dad kept getting in the
way.
Today, my husband is my favorite dinner date.
My first-choice movie buddy. My preferred travel
companion. My best friend. My refuge. My
person. Sitting next to him calms me. Sharing life
with him strengthens me.
God did that. From the moment I stopped taking
my frustrations out on my husband and started
carrying them to God, He began to grow a love
between us I never thought I’d have.
Have you found the one whom your soul loves?
Do you need to fall in love with your husband all
over again? Or for the first time? Have you been
married a day? A year? A quarter century? Now
is the time to pray. Not sure where to start?
Here’s what helps me.
- Gratitude
Lord, this first prayer isn’t really for my husband,
it’s for me. I just want to thank You for giving
him to me and me to him. You knew what You
were doing all along. His traits that used to drive
me crazy are now the strengths that fill in where
I struggle. His traits that used to seem like
weakness are now the places You’ve allowed me
to shine. We complement each other. When I let
You be the glue, we’re stronger together than we
ever were apart. Thank you for putting my
husband in my life. - Protect Our Bond
You gave my husband and I to each other. You
blessed our union. I know You want it to work
even more than we do. Protect our bond. Keep
my husband’s heart and eyes focused on me.
Take away temptation. Stop anything thoughts
that would lead him away. Put a wall around our
relationship that keeps it just the three of us.
With You in the middle, we can stand against
anything. Thank you for the man You’re molding
him to be. - Be His Strength
When my husband gets tired and beaten down,
will You be his strength? Will you renew his spirit
with your own? From the time he wakes up to the
time he goes to sleep, give him what he needs to
be the husband, father, employee, and friend You
want him to be. If he feels like giving up, show
him a reason to keep going. Bless Him every day
and remind him he’s never alone. - Be His First Love
Jesus, I know that for my husband to love me, he
first has to love You. Speak to his heart. Whisper
to him in the moments that most matter. Show
him he can trust You. Love on him so strongly he
never has the need to look for another. Be his
everything. - Let Him See Me through Your Eyes
Living with me isn’t always fun. Even in the best
circumstances, nerves can get rubbed raw. I
know I’m not the easiest person to be with. Give
my husband Your heart when it comes to me. Let
him see me the way you do. When he gets
frustrated, saturate him in patience. Show him
why I do or say the things I do. And then turn
around and do the same for me. - Keep Him Safe
Lord, I finally love this man you’ve given me the
way I’m supposed to—with all my heart and soul.
I want to do life with him, grow old with him, rock
grandchildren with him. Bring him home to me
every time he leaves. Walk ahead of him. Keep
him safe—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Take care of him. - Bless His Job
My husband works hard. The obligations must
feel overwhelming. Protect his role as our
provider. Our family needs his income and his
benefits. And he needs to feel validated at work.
Bless both those things. Give him a love for his
job that only You can. Or find him a new job
exactly where You want him to be. Lord, work is
such a huge part of his life. Bless him while he’s
there. The good he does carries farther than he’ll
ever know. Help him see that he’s making a
difference in so many lives.
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