Dr. DK Olukoya: Serious Mistakes Singles Make When Looking For A Life Partner

Dr. DK Olukoya: Serious Mistakes Singles Make When Looking For A Life Partner.

If there is one area where serious mistakes are made, it is in the area of the choice of the right partner in marriage. A lot of mistakes have been made. Frustrations are legion. Problems abound. Confusion is on the increase. 

The young and the growing grope in the dark without direction. There are bachelors and spinsters who have decided that they will no longer make any effort to find the right partner, simply because they have made several mistakes. The mistakes of this generation are monumental.

The more these mistakes are not arrested, the more there would be confusion in the Church. Therefore, we must identify the serious mistakes which singles make so that further occurrences would be averted. 

Of course, it is important to identify the principles of discovery the right partner. But the first step we ought to take is to first deal with mistakes, and clear the ground to enable those who are ready to follow God’s direction, walk along the corridors of marriage without stumbling.

What then are these mistakes?

1. To believe that your age, look and income determine who you marry.

This is a serious mistake. The Bible has observed that man look at the outward appearance (read ISamuel16v7).

What many singles overlook is the fact the spiritual determine the physical. When you focus your attention on the physical, you will end up making a serious mistake. Your age and physical outlook does not really play any role in your marriage. Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder.

Nobody is really ugly. It depends on what you are looking at. Every man is handsome and every woman is beautiful. As far as I am concerned I am yet to see an ugly born again sister or brother. Even if people say you were ugly before, when the beauty of Christ comes upon you, you will begin to radiate the glory of God. As long as you have become a new creature in Christ, you are nothing but a beauty to behold. 

You are beautiful or handsome enough as a bachelor or spinster, to be attracted to your God given partner. Beloved sister, do not make yourself cheap simply because you think you are ugly. Beloved brother, do not make yourself a beggar, because people in your work place are telling you that you are not handsome. 

As a creature of God, when you radiate the glory of God your beauty will come to the fore. Don’t let people’s viewpoint about your physical appearance push you into errors. 

2. Idols in the heart. 

One of the greatest hindrances to efforts towards finding the right partner, can be traced to idols that can be found in the hearts of those who are praying for a life partner. It is indeed strange that the idols referred to here are not found in some remote villages. The idols are found in the hearts of God’s children. 

Idols in the heart! Simply put, an idol is something that competes with God in your life. An idol can be described as anything you set up knowingly or inadvertently, to take the place of the Almighty. They set up idols in their hearts and put stumbling blocks that hindered them from making progress. Strange enough, these set of people went to God with the pretext of finding out His will.

If you begin to pray after you have created a fixed picture of whom you want to marry in your heart, you may end up with terrible mistakes. Beloved, the truth is that what you want might not be what you need. Again, what you need might not be what you want. There is nowhere in the scriptures where God has promised that, He will give you the idols in your heart. What God owes you is the husband or the wife that will complement you.

Most of the time, when God brings two people together, the two of them are never exactly the same stereotype. For example, the husband may be impulsive giver, while the wife is a bit cautious in giving. When God brings these somewhat opposing types together, it is because God wants to strike a balance in the home. The ideal marriage can be likened to a pendulum that swings to the right and left.

3. Sex outside marriage.

This is one area where singles makes grievous mistakes and the consequences are tragic. Many singles, in the name of looking for a life partner, have sold their virtues on the altar of cheap sex. God has established sex only within the bonds of Holy matrimony. Any form of sex outside marriage will lead to disappointment, even if it is done a form of compromise in order to buy favour from a would be marriage partner. 

As long as you allow your body to become an entertainment to someone who is not your husband or wife, you have fallen from divine favour, and you are going farther away from the grace and power of God. Anytime you get involved with sex outside marriage you are selling off your self respect. 

Beloved, each time you are warned to avoid sex outside marriage, it is for your own good. The violation of God’s word will not only bring complications into your life, it may issue a licence to stubborn powers from your father’s or mother’s house, who are looking for ways of hindering you from getting married. This serious mistake must be avoided like a plague.

If you are found wanting in any of the mistakes listed above. I pray for you today, may the mercy of God speaks for you, and you will find favor in God’s sight. May your mistakes turns into testimonies in the name of Jesus.