Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo spoke at David’s Christian Centre. It was tagged ‘Pink and Blue’ and he spoke largely about men and women. He said that the whole concept and context of the series they have been doing are not just to give them information about men and women being different. The whole concept is that when you understand that men and women are different, you begin to understand how your partner sees life, sees situations and that helps you meet their needs. “You can’t meet the need of someone when you don’t understand their needs,” he said.
He said that once you understand how a woman sees things and how a man sees things you now act with that information. There is no way you can be happy in marriage without understanding that. So that is the whole concept of these series to make them understand the difference and also to bridge the gap.
He revealed that It changed his whole life when he began to understand how women process things. You have to begin to understand how you even use your words because the way men process words are not the way women process words. A man will be at his best when he is trying to protect his job; men can change to keep their job but they won’t change to keep their marriage. He said that women are family-oriented. A woman is at her best when she is trying to protect her family, her strongest strength is built. Women deal with problems by confronting them, while men deal with problems by running from them.
He further explained that women speak poetically, while men speak literally. So as a man, you can’t have a good marriage if you don’t understand sign language or poetry because the way a woman is wired generally, she is not a literal being.
Men understand sign languages because women use words to communicate feelings. He said that When a woman says she is not talking to you, she wants you to pursue her. Women want to feel wanted. And the only way she can feel wanted is when you pursue her. So when she is walking about in the house banging things, feeling muddy, most men don’t know what to do. He said that When she is doing that, she needs attention.
Women’s emotional composition easily goes to the stress mode and stress mode kills women literally. This is why it is not fair to be pushing women to work at the pacemen do. Men brag about who is more stressed and who is working harder. “Talking heals for her, this is the reason why you must be in touch with your wife. Headache can go just by you saying I love you to your wife,” he said.
Finally, he advised women to take their husbands literally. When he says there is nothing wrong, then there is nothing wrong, leave him. Don’t say, this one he says it is okay, does he mean he is not okay because me as a woman when I say I am okay, I am not okay. “And learn to appeal to logic more than you appeal to his emotions because if you want to move him faster to action appeal to his logic and not his emotions,” he said.
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