The place of money in marriage
Our attitude towards money is of
utmost importance, because it is a reflection of
our attitude towards God. As Larry Burkett said,
“You can tell more about the spiritual lives of a
couple by looking at their checkbook than by
anything else.”
Everything we have comes from God. He owns it,
and He entrusts it to us to use for His purposes.
True financial success comes not from
accumulating a large surplus in our bank account,
but from following God’s plan for our finances. As
we do this, He will provide for all of our needs.
Are money problems rearing their ugly head and
causing tension in your family? Has it been
difficult for you to manage your finances and to
know where you really stand? If so, consider this
simple three-step plan for successful money
management.
- Give to God first.
As Christians, our first financial priority, just as in
every other area of life, should be God and His
work. The issue of managing all of our gifts,
including our finances, is of great importance to
God. Figuring out how much to give as a
minimum is fairly easy, as the Bible instructs us
to give a tithe, or one tenth or our income back to
God. This is a great starting point for Christian
giving and should be calculated on the gross
salary (or on net income before taxes for those in
businesses for themselves).
Now, you may be thinking: How can we possibly
do that when we are already struggling to make
ends meet? I thought you were going to tell us
how to get out of financial trouble, not make it
worse! The truth is there will never be “enough” to
give. If we wait until all of our needs and desires
are met before we start to give, it will never
happen. In fact, statistics show that in Canada ,
the more a person makes, the less they are likely
to give, percentage-wise. The more we have, the
more we think we need.
Interestingly, people today talk very little about
their actual salary or how much they are worth.
Like all secrets, this gives far more power to
money than it actually deserves. Similarly, and
more properly, people who tithe do not go around
boasting about it. But I would like to challenge
you to ask people you trust whether or not they
tithe. If they do tithe, ask them about their
experience. In all my discussions with people
about money I have never heard anyone say that
their financial problems started or got worse once
they started to tithe. On the contrary, people who
tithe seem to be better off than those who don’t. It
is one of the many mysteries of how God works. - Set aside funds for regular
savings.
An important second step is to establish the
discipline of setting aside money for inevitable
expenses and large purchases, such as the down
payment for a home, college education, vacations
and retirement. This will allow you to spend from
cash resources and eliminate the need to borrow
when that is not wise. You will be surprised by
how much can be accumulated by a simple but
disciplined savings program.
Do not plan your savings after you plan your
spending, because experience shows that those
who try this rarely succeed. You may decide to
make this a percentage of your income, and this
will probably change as you go through the
various stages of life. All financial planners will
tell you that the sooner you start saving the more
you will be able to save, so plan to start right now.
The issue of savings is one that requires a
balanced perspective. The Bible makes it clear
that we are supposed to save, but it never tells us
how much is too much or too little. The purpose
of saving is to provide for legitimate future needs,
and for some it will allow you to become one of
those special people who can fund important
needs of others. - Spend the rest on what you need.
The key to good money management is expense
management. We need to learn to live below our
means and be content with what God has given
us. This is hard for all of us, but it is an important
life lesson. The key is to develop a good budget,
which is basically a spending plan. Invest the time
in learning to use helpful tools, such as a
computer spreadsheet or a financial program. If
you have never had a budget, spend two or three
months tracking your spending. Try keeping a log
every time you spend money so that you can
improve your budget understanding. Then
examine your habits and determine how you
would like to proceed and where you need to cut
back.
Be committed to this plan and do not be
discouraged if you do not see results for the first
two or three months. It takes time to break old
habits, and if you have gotten yourself into a
financial hole it will take time to dig back out. Be
patient and stick to your budget spending,
because it really does work.
Finally, two more important points to
consider:
Always discuss finances as a couple. One spouse
likely has more financial skills than the other and
will naturally take the lead, but this is no excuse
for the other spouse not to be involved in the
family financial situation. You both need to
understand the issues that you are facing, and
make decisions as a team. Financial problems are
listed as a major cause of strife in the marriage
relationship, and it often starts when one partner
is being kept in the dark.
If you have financial problems, seek help before it
is too late. Financial problems can be solved but it
often means changes, some of which may not be
that easy. A qualified financial planner can help
you identify the problem areas and think through
solutions that will work for your family.
Above all, listen to what God may be saying to
you through your financial circumstances.
Finances can be a dividing factor in marriage, but
they can also bring you together in a new and
deeper way, as you trust God together and follow
His plan.
If you are willing follow this simple plan and begin
to intelligently and prayerfully give away 10% of
your income, I believe your financial situation will
improve. More importantly, you will be storing up
treasures in heaven, which is what really counts.
After a few months, please write us and let us
know what is happening to your financial position.
I have never met an ex-tither and I would love to
hear your story as you seek to control your
finances and serve God in this way.
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