Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo, the founder and senior pastor of David Christian Center spoke to the youths at The Ignite Conference. He spoke on the foundations singles should build before marriage.
He revealed that to be begging someone to love you is the height of selfishness. He said that people usually ask him this question “Pastor, there is this boy. I love him so much but he slaps me, insults me, cheats on me but I love him. Pastor, what should I do?” He said that when you hear people talking like that, it sounds like they are in love, but they are not. It is the height of selfishness. If you think you love someone and they can’t reciprocate it, begging them to love you means you want them to go against their wishes to fulfill your wishes.
He further explains that nobody should persuade another person to love him. What you need to do is to present yourself and give of what you have. Once the person sees your value, they will reciprocate. If they don’t reciprocate, that’s the answer you are waiting for. They’ve answered you. The fact that he didn’t call or text back is the answer. You cannot beg someone to love you. Love must be voluntary. It must be mutual; both of us must see it; both of us must want it. It is not me convincing you to love me. That’s not love.
He then claimed that marriage is a place where you go to give; it is not a place where you go to receive. If you are not happy now, fix it. Marriage will not fix it. Marriage will only complicate it. A lizard now will not become an alligator in marriage. “Embrace your single life. Now you can pamper yourself so if you can’t find happiness and fulfillment now, marriage won’t fix it for you,” he said.