Former Christians of the BuzzFeed Community were asked to talk about the turning point that made them leave their religion. Here are some of the stories they had to share:
Warning: This post contains topics of sexual assault and suicide.
1. “I was raised Catholic and was taught that God would intervene if you prayed to him. My friend was having a difficult pregnancy, and I prayed every day that it would turn out OK, but she miscarried. When I spoke to my priest, he said that God had chosen to terminate the pregnancy because my friend wasn’t married and wasn’t a Catholic. That was six years ago, and I never returned to the church after that.”
2. “My sophomore year of college, I called it quits for good after an ‘ex-gay’ came to share his testimony. This campus church seemed super welcoming and open when I got involved my first year of college, but it ended up being very conservative, and I found myself burrowing deeper into the closet and feeling anxious all the time. I was already struggling with a lot of internalized homophobia, and the church majorly exacerbated it, and I still have hang-ups I’m working through now, in therapy, years later. The ‘ex-gay’ testimony was the final straw. I still believe in some kind of higher power, but I don’t see myself ever being a part of Christianity again, and I’m finally okay with that.”
3. “I left Christianity because I realized that the god I was praying to wasn’t there. My mom and stepdad would get into screaming matches. I would lock myself in my bathroom and turn the fan on so their yelling would at least be muffled. I would get on my knees and pray for them to stop fighting (along with all of the other bad things in my life to stop). I would cry so hard. I thought I was doing something wrong when nothing happened. After my stepdad killed himself, my biological father mentally, emotionally, and verbally abused me. He didn’t allow me to grieve. He also said absolutely horrible things about my stepdad. I soon realized that no all-loving god would put an 11-year-old girl through that.”
4. “In high school, I went to church three days a week until one of my friends killed himself and I turned to my church for support. My youth pastor said that I was sinning for mourning him because suicide is a sin, that he was also going to hell because he was Jewish, and that it was all my fault because I didn’t bring him to church to save him. I called the pastor out in the middle of the service and walked out. He still leads the youth group now, over 16 years later.”
5. “My story started in 2020. I had just been assaulted, and I felt that God could have done something. I also came out as genderfluid. I realized that the assault wasn’t my fault and that I was raised in a really abusive household, and I left the church because they said everything I was going through was punishment and God trying to help me find a new path.”
6. “I worked with a teacher who was arrested and convicted of six assaults with a student. At the sentencing, his entire church showed up to show him support. No one showed up for the survivor.”
7. “I have lots of reasons for not participating in organized religion, especially Christianity. One of my main turning points was when a coworker, who I was also friends with, was having marital issues. It’s a small town, and her husband was a piece of shit who everyone knew. He couldn’t keep his junk in his pants and had several babies outside his marriage, and one of his baby mothers would even go to my friend’s home and bang on the door threatening to beat her up. My friend was very, very religious and went to the pastor for guidance, and he put no blame on the husband at all. He guilted her into staying in the marriage and acted as if prayer would fix everything! I was disgusted.”
8. “I used to go to a Protestant church in high school, and one time, a guy who was in his 40s came up to me on a church dinner cruise and started talking about how Hurricane Katrina was New Orleans’s punishment for the gay rights movement and that bad things happen in places where the gay rights movement is popular. He then proceeded to ask me out and wanted to buy me a drink even after I told him I was 16. Also, we had a pastor who was very against gay marriage and put a sign up on the church with ‘the church’s stance.'”
9. “I had been wobbling on my faith since my childhood, trying to hold on, when I finally realized none of it made sense. I was horribly abused as a child and didn’t understand why my prayers were never answered. As a teenager, I went to a youth program with some friends and felt comfortable enough to share the very, very basics of what happened with the leaders, and the response was, ‘It’s terrible, and we’re so sorry you’ve gone through that, but it’s God’s will and he has a plan for you.’ WTF.
You cannot tell me that a benevolent god is cool with the awful things that happen to children all because it’s in his plan. As an adult, I tried to go to various churches a few more times but just felt nothing. It’s kind of sad for me. I do wish I could believe, but I don’t. And it’s not even the church that turned me from it. It’s the actual teachings of the faith itself.”
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