“Wise elements required in building a good home” Pastor Ibiyeomie teaches on relationship and marriage
Money is a pivotal factor in a marriage and family. There is a difference between wants and needs. God will supply your needs not your wants. *Don’t bottle things up. Offences will come, learn to forgive.*You should have a consistent prayer life in the family.Give him a big hand and be seated.To build simply means to erect; to construct. Peaceful means free from violence. A home is not a building but an environment where your love dwells. ChurchGist. You can have a beautiful structure but not a home. You don’t wish a peaceful home; you take time to build it. Hebrews 3:4.The master key for building a peaceful home is wisdom. Every challenge in your home is a challenge of wisdom. When wisdom is in the home, peace will be present. It is important for the home to be peaceful so that the Church can be at peace too. The word of God is the first element of building a peaceful home.SOME WISE ELEMENTS FOR BUILDING A PEACEFUL HOME1. The word of God2. Go for knowledge3. Accept responsibilities4. Be conversant with the strength and weaknesses of your family members5. Quality communication skills6. Educate yourself about money management. Most crises have money issues. When there is no finance, there won’t be romance. ChurchGist. Money is a pivotal factor in a marriage and family. There is a difference between wants and needs. God will supply your needs not your wants. You may want things that God knows you don’t need. You are earning 100,000 and you want to live in a three bedroom flat, you will only end up flattening your life. Borrowing is a sign that you don’t trust God for supplies. Analyse things before going on expenditure. Avoid debt. Debt keeps you in bondage. It robs you of your joy. Live according to your size, eat your size. Don’t overshoot yourself. Don’t embark on projects that you have not counted the cost. A family not disciplined in money matters will not know peace. Be careful with shady investments and money doubling schemes. People want to get rich quick. Any friendship that will keep you under pressure to borrow, do away with such friendships. I have never owed nor borrowed. Why? I plan my. life and live my size. I impress myself; I don’t impress people.Learn to have a budget based on your income. Don’t say my friends are eating chicken, I must eat too. If you can’t afford it, look for something you can afford. You see some people struggling to pay exorbitant school fees they can’t afford. There are many good schools you can afford. So many people want to go to Harvard but end up in hazard. Anybody who does not work has no value for money. If you have a person not working, they despise whatever you give to them. Church Gist. Rich people don’t waste money. They are not stingy they are prudent. Women who are not working are the highest wasters in the world. Learn to be prudent. You should have budget for feeding. Don’t use feeding money to make your hair. A good husband should make money available for your hair. If you are saying 500,000 is not enough for your small family feeding budget monthly, you have a demonic problem.7. Have a working family altar. Many altars have turned ashes. You should have a consistent prayer life in the family. Altar is not where you put candles and funny items. It is having a consistent prayer life in the family. ChurchGist. It helps everyone in the home to grow spiritually.8. Develop tolerance and learn to forgive unconditionally. Proverbs 10:12. Listen, there will always be offences in the home. Some are deliberate while others are not. I have missed someone without noticing and the person took offence that I didn’t greet ChurchGist. Unconditional love and forgiveness is the hallmark of true love. Learn to talk issues out with love. Don’t bottle things up. Offences will come, learn to forgive. If your wife mistakenly adds more salt or forgets salt in the soup, you don’t need to take it up. Love covers multitude of sin. ChurchGist. Any man that breaks his wife’s fault outside never loved the wife. Tiger Woods wife never loved him. Hillary Clinton loved Bill Clinton. ChurchGist. They both faced the same scenario but Love conquered in a place. HOW TO HANDLE OFFENCESa. Bring the issue up with love, don’t be confrontational. b. Identify the causes sincerely. It is good to really identify the causes of issues rather than not being sincere in addressing the issue.c. Avoid shoutingd. Do not share your challenges with friends and relatives.e. Do not starve your spouse. If you see a man or woman calling their spouses wicked, it is most times on sexual starvation. Men of God are more guilty of starving their wives sexually. f. Be a poor record keeper when it comes to offences. Don’t be taking record of offences. If you offend me in the morning, before noon, I won’t remember. I have learnt to live my life without putting nonsense in my heart through the word of God. There are men who will not allow their wives drive their cars. Anything you have that your wife can’t use is bad. It means you have made her a house girl. There is none of my cars that my wife can’t use. If I have an aircraft today, my wife will be the first to use it. If she can change her name to your name, is it your property that you still value more than the name she dropped to bear your name? ADVICE FOR SINGLES1. Plan to have a good marriage foundation2. Marrying an unbeliever is a sin3. Prepare for the marriage not it’s the wedding. 4. Develop yourself.5. Don’t marry for wrong reasons. Don’t marry a woman because of money.6. Don’t marry whom you don’t love.7. Never marry a woman who loves money. Anyone that loves money can do anything for it.
Source: Church Gist
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