6 Ways Your Job Could Be Ruining Your Marriage

Here are 6 ways in which your job might be affecting your marriage.

God intended for us to have to put in a full day of work. God’s handiwork is shown in Genesis 2:1–3 “God had completed his work by the seventh day, so he took a day off. On account of God’s exhaustion from his creative labors, the seventh day was set apart as a day of worship and blessing.”

He toiled away for six days straight before finally taking a day off. That is the plan God has for us and our labor. The work we do provides our lives significance and direction. Still, we shouldn’t let it rule our days. When we strike a healthy work-life balance, we are able to devote some of our time to making a positive impact on the world and earning a living, while devoting the rest of our time to developing and maintaining connections that bring us joy and growth. What, however, if our careers start interfering with our family lives?

Our jobs should be enjoyable and not all-consuming.

Although marriage has the potential to be one of the most rewarding partnerships we have, it is easy for work to take precedence if we are not vigilant. When things aren’t going well in a marriage, it’s tempting to focus only on work to avoid dealing with the emotional and relational anguish that comes with it. Here are six signs that your job is negatively impacting your relationship with your spouse:

1. You spend more time thinking about work than your partner.

During our scheduled shift, we must maintain a level of concentration on our duties. But when job starts to take precedence over our thoughts for our partners in marriage, there may be a problem. If we aren’t cautious, our work might become an idol. You may avoid giving in to this need by keeping a blank diary in a desk drawer at work. Start the day off by listing 10 things for which you are thankful in your marriage. Jot down a list of all the ways in which your spouse makes your life better and the ways in which your marriage brings you joy. When the day is done, get out the diary and go through your entries. Think on what you’ve written while you ride home from the office. When you think about your partner, what feelings come to mind? What about your wedding day? This can help you maintain concentration and calm your nerves so that you can give your partner your whole attention when you arrive home. If you’re not really there with your partner, it will show. When you prioritize your partner, they will respect you for it.

2. You use your free time to get things done.

These days, it’s hard to find a moment of boredom. There is much to do to occupy each and every minute of the day. However, boredom serves a useful purpose in relieving mental fatigue and clearing mental fog. If you constantly keep your mind and body engaged with work-related activities, you will never have time to relax and restore your energy. In order to be more productive when you return to work on Monday, taking frequent breaks away from it on all levels (mental, physical, and emotional) is essential. Your partner will value the time you take to be with them just as much as you do. If you want a healthy marriage, you need to spend quality time with your partner doing things that matter to both of you.

3. Most of what you talk about is work.

Work is essential because it helps us maintain our physical and mental health while also allowing us to meet our most fundamental material demands. When two people are married, they make a pact to always be there for one another. But if we aren’t cautious, our obsession with work might turn into emotional adultery. If you’re looking for a place to conduct an affair, your workplace is a viable option.

4. You come home too late from work.

There will be times when staying late at the office is unavoidable, but if you and your spouse don’t take care to balance your job and personal lives, you might wind up with a ruined marriage. A happy marriage can only exist with well defined limits. It’s time to either find a new job or establish some limits if you find yourself unable to say “no” to your employer. In a family with children, it’s especially important for both parents to contribute equally to their upbringing. It’s unequal for one parent to be responsible for raising the kids. When this occurs, it’s common for one partner to grow very angry and bitter against their other. To avoid this, communicate with your superiors that you will only be staying late if absolutely required. Not answering your phone after hours is a sign of professionalism, so let them know. If you show your boss and other executives that it’s OK to violate your personal time, they’ll start treating you like they have unlimited availability.

5. You’re not feeling anything.

Being emotionally present with your partner is just as crucial as being cognitively present with them in a relationship. It will seem like you’re more committed to your job than your spouse if all your conversations are shallow or focus on it. You and your spouse need to have a heart-to-heart about your emotions, your hurts, your fights, and anything else that could be threatening to derail your marriage. If you and your partner go for lengthy stretches without discussing sensitive topics, it may put a strain on your relationship. If you ignore this problem, your partner may start thinking about divorce.

Being mentally and emotionally present includes doing things like cooking supper and watching television. Recognize that even the smallest chores around the home need to be done. One way we may best serve each other and God is by being responsible stewards of the resources God has provided us. Everything, from our houses to our relationships, that God has given us will need an account when we stand before him in judgment. God will not continue to entrust us with his blessings if we demonstrate poor stewardship of the resources he has already provided. The Bible teaches that those who are given a lot should be held to a high standard (Luke 12:48).

6. You and your partner have difficulty spending time apart.

Being able to spend time apart is also quite important in a marriage. When couples work together like this, it helps to strengthen their marriage. On the other hand, being absent from one’s partner’s life means not putting as much emphasis on the relationship. The other spouse will begin to feel unimportant. If one partner keeps telling themselves they are unimportant, eventually they will start to believe it. Right about now is when the adversary makes an attempt to wreck the couple’s relationship. If one partner starts to feel that they don’t matter to the other, they’re more likely to spend time on their own.

Ask yourself why you can’t be alone with your partner if you have trouble being alone with them. Is there anything bothersome about your marriage that you’ve been avoiding facing? Get some assistance from a professional if you have problems communicating or spending time alone together. Potentially unresolved concerns and emotional scars may come to light. You may work through your feelings of loss and enhance your capacity for forgiveness with the support of an impartial third person, all of which will strengthen your bond with one another.

With correct perspective, work has the power to offer your life meaning and purpose, and the satisfaction that comes from knowing that your efforts are making a difference. You can make a difference in the world, in both your professional and personal spheres, by establishing healthy work-life boundaries and preventing your job from interfering with your marriage.