The Benefit of Admitting Our Need for Control

The Positive Effects of Admitting We Want to Be in Control

Be of good cheer; the Lord himself will before you. To paraphrase the prophet Isaiah, “He will be with you; He will not fail you or desert you” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Mother, you skipped the movie without telling us!

Even though I had slept through the family movie night, I had a restless night of tossing and turning. Over the course of the night, I prayed against my anxieties, dozing asleep for little periods until the anxiety began to knot my stomach again. My whole body seemed to be on high alert as a result of the ideas racing through my head. I couldn’t take the ache away from my daughter’s wounds. Unfortunately, I was unable to calm her down by reaching inside her body and calming her furious spirit. A mother’s heart sinks when she worries about her child’s safety. My own anxiety has been out of control ever since she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

The need to exert control over my daughter’s life had become an annoyance and an ever-elusive illusion. Since I can’t change her diagnosis, I tried to ease her suffering in every other way I could. Despite my best efforts, the pain came about, as it often does when people strive to control things that are ultimately beyond their control (in this case, God’s). The dread of being helpless is widespread, as Elliot D. Cohen, Ph.D., noted in an article for Psychology Today. This is the worry that something dreadful will occur if you are unable to influence the course of future events.

I hurried to God, pleading for guidance as I attempted to aid my daughter. To strengthen my faith in Him and convince me that whatever He had for her was greater than anything I could plan or any suffering I could spare. Paul penned:

You claim, “I can do anything I want,” yet not everything is healthy for you. And even though “I have permission to do anything,” I must not let myself be enslaved by it. (12 Colossians 6:1).

Maintenance is difficult. Self-restraint is a must for survival. It’s risky to put too much power in the hands of humans, however. Submission to God and submission to His wisdom are at the heart of what it means to exercise godly self-control. Cohen elaborates, “The heart of the matter is the need for absolute certainty in a universe where everything is in flux and open to interpretation. Relinquishing your need to be right all the time is the key to calming your fear of losing control. The key to overcoming your fear is releasing your need for a certain outcome. nevertheless, you are not able to become all-knowing.

Unfortunately, neither our knowledge nor our ability to use power grants us complete autonomy. To rephrase, we are not omnipresent, omniscient, or flawless. It is the Lord’s prerogative to decide what is best in each given circumstance.

God sees into everyone’s mind because He made everyone’s mind. He is able to read our thoughts. Everything we try to conceal from others, the Lord can see. He also unearths the things we’d rather not let go of, such as past grievances, misplaced pride, and an emphasis on self-interest. For those who are willing to let go, God is trustworthy to take away their burdens and show them the way back to serenity. Admitting that we have a problem is the first step in overcoming our resistance to fixing it. John, the apostle, wrote:

But if we come to Him and admit our wrongdoing, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and wash us clean of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

When we own our faults and ask forgiveness, we make room in our souls for the work God has for us to undertake. From Hosea 14:2:

“Return to the LORD with your confessions in hand. Tell him, “Have mercy on us and accept us so that we may sing your praises.”

The devil is aware of our control issues and will keep trying to separate and divert us until we finally reach paradise. “As limited beings in a fallen world, we worry about things beyond our control,” Kristen Wetherell wrote for The Gospel Coalition. As the saying goes, “We dread what we can’t control because we’ve attempted to control it, but we can’t since we aren’t God.” When our tempers flare, when we feel helpless to stop an impending harm, it is the Holy Spirit, made real to us in Christ Jesus, who gives us the power to control our first impulses and choose a more constructive course of action. Paul penned:

For it is Christ who strengthens me, and I can do all things through him (Philippians 4:13).

The strength’s origin is the key to unlocking this reality. Christ is the source of our power. For the Bible promises in 2 Chronicles 7:14, “Then if my people who are called by my name would humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sins, and will restore their land.” Confessing our need for control and trusting that Christ’s power will give us the restraint, patience, and self-control we need to wait on the Lord rather than putting issues into our own hands is a therapeutic process.

Throughout my life, being a mother won’t become any easier. That my children will face difficulties, illness, and misery is something I cannot change. On the other hand, He will provide them an indescribable delight that no one else can give them. Paul penned:

Everything we need for a good life has been provided by God via his almighty power. Knowing him, the one who drew us to himself with the splendor of his majesty and perfection, has brought us all we now possess. And in light of his greatness and magnificence, he has bestowed upon us priceless promises. These assurances are what will allow you to partake in his divine essence and find freedom from the pollution that the world and human wants bring (2 Peter 1:3-4).

Loss aversion will deprive us of the serenity for which Christ sacrificed. The fullness of life is ours because of him. Kristen Wetherell said for The Gospel Coalition, “Trying to take control of what can’t be controlled eventually, we set ourselves up for fearfulness in times of inevitable hardship.” To paraphrase, “Since Jesus is Lord, we need not be.” With Christ, we may take Paul at his word:

Never fret; instead, take your concerns to God in prayer. Pray to God, telling him what you need and what he’s done for you (Philippians 4:6).

The Lord is with us while we lie awake at night, fretting about pain we cannot mend and events beyond our control. No one is keeping us up at night. He is present at the moment. Jesus deserves all the praise. How dependable our God is. He knows what lurks in the shadows, and as we pray, His angels fight beside us. The Bible Study Tools team states, “Prayer is God’s medicine for anxiety, and unless we commit our minds to God’s methods and thoughts, we will never know the miraculous peace that God promises.”

Love must be our guiding principle in everything that we do as followers of Jesus Christ. Instead of worrying thoughts that keep us up at night, Jesus brings us to tranquility that exceeds all understanding. There will be suffering and problems in this world, and we can’t stop it. But our God is far greater. His thoughts are higher than ours, and His methods are different from ours. Here is how we feel about it:

In light of this, you should do all in your power to act on God’s promises. To the measure of your faith, add the following qualities: moral perfection, knowledge, self-control, patient endurance, godliness, brotherly love, and love for all people (2 Peter 1:5-7).