Here are 4 Clues Your Husband Needs Your Assistance
Months went by as everything happened before my eyes, and I was completely oblivious. The signs were there that my husband needed assistance, and he was being very discreet about it. He was giving me hints, sometimes subtly and sometimes really annoyingly. His wordless pleadings went unnoticed since I was too preoccupied with the kids’ schedules, job, and everything else. When I recognized what was happening, I vowed to start praying more often and earnestly for him. I also learned the hard way that we needed to schedule dedicated time each week to talk about what was bothering us as a couple.
Because they were taught to keep their feelings, worry, and tension to themselves, many of our spouses put up a strong front and don’t talk about what they need. A person may have a hard time admitting they need assistance. But spouses constantly provide information about their mental state in cryptic ways. By picking up on these signals, we may make our men feel less alone and more willing to open out to us.
Here are four hints that your spouse could need some assistance:
- He’s Lost Interest in Activities He Used to Enjoy
Things that used to bring us delight become more difficult to appreciate when we are under intense pressure or slogging through unsettling weather. That’s also true with our spouses, really. You could have noticed that he’s stopped doing the things he enjoys, whether it’s sports, gaming, music, or something else. You may also see a lack of release or delight in his woodworking or automobile tinkering if he is still making time for these activities.
If you see these tendencies, broach the subject with your spouse. It’s impossible to have a happy marriage without open lines of communication. Even if your spouse doesn’t open up to you about what’s hurting him, just acknowledging that he’s not feeling well can reassure him that he isn’t forgotten. For a marriage to flourish, both spouses must feel valued and appreciated.
While God knows that we will all face trials and pain, He desires that we live whole, healthy lives. It is His desire for us to take pleasure in His world and find spiritual sustenance in it. Even still, King Solomon praised his people for their optimism, urging them to seek out “joy, beauty, and laughter”
Therefore, I advocate taking pleasure in life, because there is no greater good for a human being than to take pleasure in good food and drink and to rejoice in life. Then, they’ll be able to work with happiness every day of the lives God gives them here on Earth. Proverbs 8:15 NIV
2. He seems always tense and impatient.
Your spouse may be asking for aid in a more covert manner by losing his temper more quickly with you, the kids, and other people close to him. Yeah, I get it. When this occurs, helping them out may be the last thing on your mind. You should pay close notice if this is out of character for him. It may be hard to show your husband grace when he loses his temper, but remember that his behavior is often an indicator of a more serious issue. It’s possible he is completely unaware of the shift in his manner.
Ask your spouse if there’s anything on his mind or if he needs any assistance when you see him losing patience or acting edgy for the first time. An easy discussion might be just what you need to release some stress. In the midst of our hectic schedules, we often neglect to have meaningful conversations with the people closest to us.
These characteristics, however, are the results of the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. None of these things are illegal! Scripture Reference: Galatians 5:22-23 New Living Translation
**Note: partners may work through a lack of patience or a short fuse, but it’s vital to remember that God does not require us to tolerate verbal or physical abuse. Get aid from an expert right away if you find yourself in this kind of predicament.
3. He never has any energy left over for the hobbies he used to like.
This unspoken warning sign may indicate psychological or physiological distress. Maybe it’s none of those things, however. Because being fatigued has such a wide-ranging impact on our daily functioning, it’s not surprising that the two often occur together. Your spouse may need to consult a doctor or therapist if he can’t seem to get his energy levels up. A sleep study may be necessary to determine the root of the problem in severe situations.
Culture often instills in us the false belief that we can keep giving to others while neglecting our own needs. This is a fabrication that might lead to our downfall. Taking care of our own needs—physical, emotional, and spiritual—makes us better prepared to minister to others and to present our bodies as a living sacrifice to God, as he intended.
In Romans, Paul writes on how we should present our bodies as a sacrifice:
Therefore, I advocate taking pleasure in life, because there is no greater good for a human being than to take pleasure in good food and drink and to rejoice in life. Then, they’ll be able to work with happiness every day of the lives God gives them here on Earth. (Romans 12:1) New International Version
Taking care of our bodies is a vital element of giving to others, yet we frequently forget this. People who take care of their bodies are better equipped to serve the body of Christ, while those who neglect their health will ultimately burn out and fail.
You should urge your spouse to figure out why he isn’t getting enough sleep and to get assistance if necessary. When we take care of our own physical and mental health, we have more to give to our loved ones and the world at large. God wants this for us.
4. He becomes estranged from those who are closest to him, even his own family.
When a guy has needs, it might be difficult for him to ask for help. Men are socialized to take on the roles as breadwinners and pillars of the family. On the other hand, males also need encouragement. They need support from loved ones who will push them forward and hold them responsible for their actions. The wife can’t provide this kind of help entirely on her own, but she does play a part in it. To vent to and depend on, guys need nothing more than the company of their fellow males.
Prayerfully seek God’s direction in finding a church or community where your husband may find a strong group of Christian men to contact for support and encouragement. In today’s society, there are a plethora of resources aimed at fostering men’s development into responsible adults and caring partners. These communities recognize that no one was meant to go through life alone.
The author of Ecclesiastes says it best:
“Two can do more than one because if one of them is hurt, the other can aid to pick them up. Yet woe to the one who stumbles and finds no one to pick them up. NIV Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
If your spouse is asking for your assistance in a roundabout way, remember that God brought you together for a purpose. You will both experience times when you are very dependent on one another. However, one must remember that this is really a passing phase. Don’t attempt to solve this problem by yourself, at any cost. If you need assistance, talk to your Guide and your Advocate. He’ll be eager to take the helm and provide for your every need.