Should Marriages Be Equal?

Should Men and Women Both Contribute Equally in Marriage?

When I originally started thinking about this issue, I had a very good idea of where I intended to take it. However, I was also interested in hearing an overarching perspective that went beyond my own thirty years of marriage. I thought it would be interesting to see what other married couples felt, so I conducted a survey. Generally speaking, I was prepared for that kind of response. Several of them caught me off guard. Either way, I wish I had asked the same question as a newlywed since there was so much good advise given. I have compressed and paraphrased some of the comments I got for length, used initials instead of full names, and included the number of years of marriage if applicable when quoting them. My wife provided me with all but three of the answers. To keep track of which ones were from spouses, I’ve made a list. Okay, let’s begin. Could marriage be 50/50?

If you agree with the motion, say “AYE.” Only 1 in 17 Participated Yes “Sharing household chores makes our marriage run more smoothly.” Twenty-two years of marriage

However, there were some exceptions. “Equal” means that both parties are treated fairly and don’t feel like they’re being taken advantage of in any way. ~J. Even if sharing the load is the stated objective, you have each other’s backs in practice. 23 years of wedded bliss

Everyone who disagrees, Vote “NO”
That’s not a simple task. There were three distinct groups of negative responses. Thirty-two percent of people think spouses should both contribute equally financially to a marriage.

In order to have a happy marriage, “it needs to be 100% all the time because some days your 100% may barely get you out of bed and you need your spouse to meet you where you are.” J spent 19 happy years in wedlock. The whole of my hubby, please. Furthermore, I want to offer him my whole attention. ~P.

Only 32% think it’s fair for the combined contributions from both partners to equal 100%. A pair should be able to withstand the storms of marriage by accepting the inevitable ups and downs of the relationship and doing their best through it all. ~J. It’s a pendulum, so to speak. The Spouse

Some of the feedback I received was also gender-specific, which I found really intriguing.

The woman may feel like she’s doing everything, but her husband should strive to help out more. ~P married for 30 years spouse. There is a lot of mental weight that moms bear. ~K

Only one-fifth (19%) of people think couples should not keep score.

A spouse may start keeping score if 50/50 is used. ~J. “If a couple enters a marriage with the expectation that they would both contribute equally, then they are setting themselves up for disappointment if one partner is unable to meet their responsibilities on any given day.” After 38 years of wedded bliss, A. For me, and maybe you as well, there is some truth to each of those claims. While the wisdom of other married couples is invaluable, we must ultimately seek God on our own. Because He is the one who established the institution of marriage.

If God Speaks, What Does He Say?

There is no biblical passage that specifies how much of your time and energy should be invested in your marriage. That’s how I wish things worked. What you’ll discover are Bible verses that discuss the special nature of marriage, how it relates to God’s relationship with us, and how God wants us to treat one another. The words that stood out to me as I read were bolded.

The Bible says that when a man marries, he “left his father and mother and is married to his wife, and the two become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 NIV).

Because of this, a man will eventually leave his parents and be joined with his wife; together they will become a new, integrated human being. I speak of Christ and the Church, and there lies a mystery of the highest kind (Ephesians 5:31-32).

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and sacrificed himself for her (Ephesians 5:25).

Like thus, men should treat their wives as if they were an extension of themselves. One who loves their spouse also adores himself. No one ever disliked their own body, but they do take care of it by feeding and watering it, just as Christ takes care of his church. (Greek: ; Ephesians 5:28-29)

Furthermore, 1 Peter 3:7 says, “Be careful while you live with your wives, and treat them with respect.”

In addition, Ephesians 33 instructs that husbands must love their wives as much as they love themselves, and that wives must respect their husbands.

United. All flesh. sacrificed himself for Love. Taking good care of. Considerate. Respect. There isn’t much space for interpretation in those words, therefore they’re quite solid. The love, compassion, and respect shared between you and your spouse mirrors Christ’s relationship with the church.

All seasons, all occupations, all responsibilities, all kids, all participation!” Married for 31 years, K

“As long as you’re both meeting one other’s needs, I’d say that’s being unselfish,” she said. ~T

God has a lot to say about how we treat His people in general, not just within the context of marriage. Keep in mind that your wife or spouse ultimately belongs to God. The individuals with whom you share your life are God’s chosen people.

“I offer you a new and eternal command: Love each other. You are to love one another just as much as I have loved you. If you have love for one another, then the world will know that you are my followers (John 13:34-35).

“Have mercy on one another; forgive one another; as Christ has forgiven you, so you also must forgive one another” (Ephesians 4:32).

Take care of each other and be totally dedicated to each other in love. Respect one another more than yourself (Romans 12:10).

Love waits for us, and it is generous. It is neither envious or boastful or haughty. As the saying goes, “honor does not disgrace others; it seeks no personal gain, is not easily enraged, and remembers no wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

Love. Kind. Compassionate. Forgiving. Devoted. Honor. Simpler language for describing the qualities we hope our spouses will contribute to our unions. Furthermore, we are instructed on what to abandon at this point. We should avoid being envious, boastful, pompous, dishonorous, self-seeking, and quick to rage. Consider what our lives would be like if we took to heart the advice given in the 1 Corinthians text on marriage and really put it into practice.

“They each bring their A game.” ~R

This verse in Ecclesiastes is one of my favorites. “Two are better than one because they can share the load, and each gain what they put into it.”

We are the counterweight to one another. ~V

“In love, we make up for one other’s shortcomings.” ~E

So, we’re back to tally again. If we are following God’s instructions in the Scriptures above, we will stop keeping score of how much effort each of us is putting into the marriage at any particular moment.

As the saying goes, “love doesn’t keep score.” D has been a married man for the last 29 years.

The point total is irrelevant. It’s about supporting each other and being open and honest about your needs and wants in a relationship. After 17 years of marriage, J

Earlier, I said that I had a rough idea of where I intended to take this inquiry. Nonetheless, after taking in these verses and the feedback on my poll, I’ve reconsidered my position. If we lived in a perfect world, a 50-50 split would be great. This 100-100 rule is excellent in theory but unrealistic in practice. And how are we expected to reach a sum total of 100? Back in the day? A question: what month was it? When was that? The improper thing to ask is whether or not marriage should be 50/50. As a couple, we need to ask ourselves: What type of marriage do we want for ourselves? Which path do we choose to take, one of mutual assistance or mutual destruction? Does it matter to us that our marriage is based on mutual appreciation, consideration, and affection? If we say “yes,” then it is imperative that we hand over the specified items. Take on those roles. Try to put them into practice.

Sometimes, one spouse has to take on additional responsibilities. L has been married for 28 years. It turns out L was correct. Nonetheless, in terms of who, when, and how much. By method of mental approach. Impeding the progress of romantic plans. Specifically, in the form of loving our spouse as Christ loves the church. preventing us from forming a team, in whatever form it takes.

As long as a couple is able to cooperate, it doesn’t matter how much work one person puts into the marriage. Having been wed for the last 31 years,

Giving and receiving go hand in hand in a marriage. We have been together as a married couple for half a century. I agree with W, ignoring the numbers. Cooperation and compromise are mutually-created norms based on how Christians believe God would have them treat each other. Because every couple is unique, every marriage is also unique. Our connection is special because of the way our talents and shortcomings complement one other as “one.” It’s an issue when we’re not a good match for one another, when we can’t work together.

“Split up after 30 years of marriage; main reason is that we just didn’t gel as a team. No matter how evenly you split the workload, whether it’s 50/50, 80/20, or 100/100, progress will stall if you’re not working together. ~M

Make the most of your marriage if you want it to succeed. What you create will be a blend of your own qualities and those of the other people involved.

L, who has been married for 28 years, said this, and I think it’s a great way to wrap things up. Read here for the daughter’s father’s wedding day words of wisdom on the subject of marriage. Saying things like, “Love is not an emotion” is not accurate. Ultimately, it’s up to you. Your spouse will be the object of your hatred on certain days. That’s when you know you really adore them. All the wives chimed in with a “Amen.”